Do good, to be and feel good
Socrates once said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” As a technology entrepreneur, I have been struck by the growth of the ‘happiness’ industry that now includes gadgets, apps, devices and a flurry of content from self-proclaimed gurus who peddle life advice incessantly on social media platforms. Some suggest that the source of our troubles is that we reflect too much. Others claim that we reflect too little. In both cases, the focus of our reflection is our own self.
I suspect that is a problem.
To understand the conundrum of happiness and well-being, I reached out to my professor of moral philosophy at Oxford, Dr Jeff McMahan. He shared that being a morally good, and somewhat self-sacrificing, person is one of the best ways to have a life that is not only objectively good, but also subjectively satisfying. Being less self-absorbed and devoting time to projects that don’t necessarily serve our own interests leads to personal fulfilment of a higher order.
He suggests a helpful practice: Think about the people you genuinely look up to and model your behaviour based on the attributes that make them admirable. The people McMahan admires are mostly philosophers from the past such as John Stuart Mill, Henry Sidgwick, Samuel Johnson, Aldous Huxley and George Orwell. In addition to being reflective in a way Socrates would have approved, they got closer to the truth than most others and lived their lives according to their core values, even if it involved significant sacrifice.
People can often be mistaken about whether they have a good life or a high level of well-being. Consider Hitler at the peak of his conquests. If someone asked him whether he was happy, he would probably say yes. McMahan thinks he had a terribly bad life for him. He suggests a good test for this is, if you love somebody for their own sake, say your child, you can ask yourself ‘Would I want this person to have a certain type of life for their own sake?’
You would never wish for a life like Hitler’s for your own child. Why? Because you would prefer your child to be an objectively good person with good things in life, even if that means compromising on questionable goals that could increase happiness in the short term. This may seem like a complex thought experiment, but it boils down to a simple truth: Maximising happiness is not the way to a more fulfilling life. Doing the right thing, having a strong moral compass, and pursuing things that don’t necessarily advance our interests can make our lives worth living.
This is something that the modern happiness industry often misses. It is so focused on helping us become the best versions of ourselves that it leads us into an unhealthy self-obsession. Thinking about what’s good for us and making our lives the centre of our universe can be utterly boring. As Harvard Professor Arthur Brooks says, “It is like watching the same episode of Better Call Saul every single night for the rest of your life.”
If we truly want to enhance our well-being, we need to look beyond ourselves. We need to make service our core value. Of course, we need to take care of ourselves and ensure our needs are met, but that’s a start. Self-fulfilment is a start, not the goal of our reflections, actions and dreams.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describes ‘flow’ as a state of complete absorption in the current experience, but the professionals who reach that state are not the ones obsessing over themselves. They are doing so in service of the craft.
You may wonder what am I specifically nudging you towards? Simply put, reflect on your life and work not to serve your interests; figure out a way to include your community and stakeholders in your pursuits. You will find yourself more energised on a daily basis.
Broadening your gaze and focusing on others without expecting something in return is not only the morally right thing to do, but also something that will make your life objectively better. It is a pragmatic choice.
It is ironic to conclude an article on moral goodness with pragmatism, but I am okay with that. As long as the message stays with you, the difficulty of doing good and sticking through discomfort is likely to yield a high return on invested time, energy and emotion.
Utkarsh Amitabh
CEO, Network Capital; Chevening Fellow, University of Oxford
Twitter: @utkarsh_amitabh