Fear and anxiety often sneak in quietly, taking hold without us even realising it. It’s a heavy feeling, one that can make everything seem harder than it really is. But imagine, if instead of letting worry control our lives, we found a way to replace it with peace.
Understanding the Root of Worry and Fear
The desire to control can lead us into a loop of mental turmoil. When we’re focused on controlling every detail, our body responds with stress signals, impacting our overall health. Fear often feels real, but it’s worth remembering what the word can stand for: False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear is often our mind creating scenarios that may never happen, but because the mind doesn’t differentiate between real and imagined events, it reacts as if they are true. This is why fear can feel so overwhelming—it’s based on what could happen, not what is happening.
Each time a fearful thought arises, try to flip the narrative. Instead of focusing on the worst-case scenario, consciously challenge your mind to consider the best-case outcome. While this may initially feel forced, with practice, you’ll gradually train your mind to respond more positively. Over time, this shift can help reduce anxiety and bring a sense of calm to moments that previously triggered fear.
How to Flip the Script
1. Acknowledge Your Fears and Worries: It’s natural to have fears and worries—don’t try to push them away because resisting them can make them more persistent. Instead, acknowledge these thoughts and take a moment to reflect on what’s within your control versus what isn’t. Once you’re clear on this, focus on taking small actions around the things you can control, letting go of what you can’t.
2. Identify the Source of Your Fear: Take a closer look at where your fear is coming from. Is it news channels, social media, online symptom-checking, or perhaps the experiences of loved ones? Remember, someone else’s story doesn’t have to be yours. You’re unique, and so is your journey.
3. The Power of Intention: Setting an intention is like creating a compass for the day—guiding you, whether in a meeting or a tough conversation. For instance, if you set an intention to be calm and understanding, you’ll find that even difficult situations become more manageable.
4. Faith as a Tool to Release Anxiety; Faith goes beyond religion; it’s about trusting in a purpose or process greater than oneself. In my experience, faith has the power to ease fear by letting go of the need to control everything. Instead of focusing on every potential outcome, faith invites us to surrender to the unknown, creating a sense of peace.
Use this exercise to deal with overwhelming thoughts:
1. List Your Thoughts: Write down all thoughts occupying your mind and heart.
2. Create Two Columns: Label them ‘In My Control and Out of My Control’.
3. Sort Thoughts: Place each thought in the appropriate column.
4. Release the Uncontrollable: Look at thoughts outside your control, and practice surrendering them, focusing on faith and acceptance.
5. Plan Action: For items under your control, write one small action next to each thought.
6. Commit to Your Actions: Review these actions and tackle them one by one, taking steps toward peace and progress.
5. Realigning with Life Purpose to Ease Worry: Connecting with a life purpose—whether big or small—brings a sense of direction that naturally reduces worry. Purpose can emerge in daily, meaningful acts, like being there for loved ones or offering kindness.
Coutinho is an integrative lifestyle expert