Make a world of difference, pay it forward
The kindness of strangers lingers. Those who have experienced it, know this. Hate is powerful, but destructive. Kindness has a lasting, nurturing quality to it that warms the heart when remembered. The best examples come from strangers. Unknown people who feel a sudden spark of empathy and reach out to help. You must have experienced it too. Perhaps you are among those that reach out to lend that helping hand.
The old example of helping a blind man cross the street is outdated, the blind are surprisingly able to fend for themselves and traverse huge distances avoiding collusions and mishaps with dexterity, their senses on alert. Perhaps because they have no cellphone to distract them. Good deeds come in many guises.
Someone offering to carry a suitcase up a flight of stairs to help a person struggling with its weight; a waiter ensuring a client with a cold is seated away from the blast of air conditioning, a hand reaching out to help a senior citizen step down from a bus… if we look carefully; despite the hustle and bustle of living life in a tearing hurry, there are spontaneous acts of kindness that are done with no thought of reward or even appreciation. And yet there is a reward; as much for the doer as for the receiver. A feeling of warmth in the heart; for believe it or not, there is joy in giving.
Not so long ago, the story of a beached whale pup that lay struggling on the beaches of Ratnagiri was doing the rounds on Facebook. A bunch of young men, coast guards and others, did their best and sent the mammal off back into the water. I think WhatsAppers as a whole, heaved a sigh of relief; at least those who think it is important to help a whale pup. But perhaps something was wrong with the whale, which is why it had landed on the beach. Not soon after the rescue and the jubilation that rippled among those who read about it and those who had helped make it possible, the whale died. And there was sadness all around.
Saving beached whales is a story that comes around once in many decades; but nurturing the quality of empathy in ourselves is an asset that will stand us in good stead in the long run. For one, it takes the spotlight away from ourselves… our needs, our aspirations, our desires, our ambitions, our pet peeves, and small illnesses, our irritations… in short, all the negativities we blanket ourselves with.
Smiling at a passer by, who might return the smile makes the air seem fresher, adds a lightness to the step. Complimenting a colleague on a sari or shirt, or a presentation is a small gesture that ensures a moment of joy for the other person, and gifts us with the joy of being able to create joy.
Anyone can throw a harsh word, or an insult or a dirty look… it’s easy. But cultivating the habit of saying something, anything nice to someone we know and normally take for granted, or to a stranger, brings immense camaraderie.
It’s a habit worth cultivating. A word can become a gesture, a gesture can become an act of kindness. And the world can suddenly start seeming to be a better place.
Try it. I did. It works.
Sathya Saran
Author & Consulting Editor, Penguin Random House
saran.sathya@gmail.com