Dowry, lavish weddings taboo in this village in Jammu and Kashmir

The villagers are still following the blanket ban which was imposed about 40 years ago. A ‘no dowry document’ was also prepared, duly signed by the Imam, village elders and some key persons.
Haji Ghulam Nabi Shah.
Haji Ghulam Nabi Shah.

BADA WAYIL (GANDERBAL): Even as distressing news reports about dowry-related violence keep coming from various parts of India, the residents of Baba Wayil, a small village in Jammu and Kashmir’s Ganderbal district, are not concerned.

For, the villagers are still following the blanket ban on dowry and lavish weddings imposed about 40 years ago. Explaining the no-dowry concept, Haji Ghulam Nabi Shah, 70, told TNIE that the villagers decided to impose a blanket ban on dowry back in the 1980s in the larger interest of the community.

A ‘no dowry document’ was also prepared, duly signed by the Imam, village elders and some key persons. “The document has been placed on the wall of the local mosque. To date, there has been no violation from anyone,” said Shah.

Even the well-to-do families in the village prefer simple marriages and have no qualms about marrying off their daughters and sons without taking or giving dowry. The 16-point document stresses that the groom’s family can’t demand dowry from the bride’s side.

Instead, the groom’s family has to gift Rs 53,000 to the bride including Rs 20,000 as bride price (Mehr) and Rs 33,000 towards the trousseau. The groom’s family also has to bring earrings for the bride, who does not wear any golden jewellery for the wedding but only artificial jewellery.

The document warns any violation will evoke legal proceedings and a social boycott of the family from the villagers. “This document does not differentiate between the rich and the poor. In fact, it protects the interests of the poor as they can marry off their daughters without having to take loans,” said Parvez Ahmad Shah, who got married a few years ago strictly following the principles laid down in the document. Shah said Baba Wayil’s no dowry practice is gaining popularity and it has inspired neighbouring villages, which now want to replicate it.

Simple feast
The villagers have also fixed five dishes for the wazwan (feast) and banned the use of cold drinks, sweets and dry fruits and disposal items.

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