'I feared my parents would stop my education'

He was my senior, I was forced to put up with him for over a year. The only saving grace was that he kept his distance

Being new to travelling from a village to college in a town bus in Tamil Nadu without the company of parents, I guess every girl, like me, would have felt that everyone was staring at her. But the feeling fades as the days pass. Once, however, I noticed a person staring at me relentlessly, and I felt uncomfortable. When it happened again in the college labs and at a college conference, I began understanding the real problem.

The guy was an immediate senior from my college and was from the same village as me. He therefore travelled on the same bus. So in the beginning there was a chance that I was just misunderstanding it all. But my suspicions were confirmed when he began staring at me during lab hours, intentionally passing my class often to stare at me, and telling other that he liked me.

'I did not know what stalking was till I was stalked' Don't know her? Don't send friend requests It was the first time, and it has been haunting me even after 10 years

It was all too creepy, and for me multiple times over, as I didn’t have the option of informing my parents. Like me, many girls from villages would hush it up for fear of being pulled out of college and their education disrupted. And if the parents gave the guy a warning, it could lead to other problems in settings where emotions run high, and things like caste and family honour could come into play.

To avoid my stalker, I used to take a bus at a different time or sit somewhere in the lab where he couldn’t see me, but it was of no use, as he tried to contact me through Facebook and began sending messages non-stop to my number; blocking and changing my number was the only option. But how long could I take different buses and get late to my classes? So, I ignored him even when he walked behind me all the way to my house pretending that he had work in the same area, and so it went on. In my second year, at one point I informed a senior friend that my family would not tolerate it if they came to know. The message was passed on to him, and the stalking stopped. The only saving grace in the long episode was that he always kept his distance.

<noscript><a href="http://polldaddy.com/poll/9465387/">What would you do if you were stalked?</a></noscript></div><p>But travelling on a bus daily meant that I needed to be equipped to face not just people who stalked me from a distance. For those who got too close for comfort, I had a solution: my mom used to give me a needle (to sink into people who tried to inappropriately touch me during the bus ride) and a packet of chilli powder to protect myself if I found myself in a dangerous situation on a deserted street.</p><p>But the experience with my senior left me looking over my shoulder all the time. Even now, when I travel in a town bus or walk on a lonely street, I get the feeling that someone is staring at me or following me.</p><p>(The writer is a reporter with The New Indian Express)</p><p><strong>Have you been stalked? <em>writetous@newindianexpress.com</em></strong></p>