Everyone knows that drinking alcohol is injurious to health. And everyone knows that drunk driving is illegal. Then again everyone knows many people drink and drive.
Recently, the Kerala police issued strict orders to suspend the licences of all those who drink and drive. This might have come out of sheer desperation. No one can blame them. We drivers are killers on the road. Every day our roads are splashed with the blood of innocents.
Let us be honest. At least a few among us are occasional offenders. So, I started wondering. Is there a sober solution to a drunk driving problem other than suspending the licence? After all, the vast majority of drivers on Indian roads do not know how to drive even if they are not drunk. And of course there are some who cannot drive unless they have a drink or two.
There is also a medical condition called “learned tolerance” — that is, some people can drive perfectly well even if fully drunk. Maybe the latter is just a medical myth. But the matter is complex.
A thought came up...how about a “drunk driver licence” test?
This is a driving test to see whether one can safely drive after a couple of drinks. In other words, can the driver drive safely under the influence of alcohol? If he passes a driving test after consuming the required number of drinks, why not give him what we can call a “drunk driver licence”? It could be the driver’s choice to have one, two, or more pegs before taking the test. For those who pass, we can have a one drunk driver licence, two drunk driver licences and so on.
Blood alcohol levels during the test can be checked and recorded. If caught later on the road for drunk driving with more alcohol in his blood than endorsed in his licence, there goes the licence forever.
So, what about two-wheeler riders? No drunk driver licence will be issued to them. Even otherwise they are a suicide squad on the road. In fact, the pillion should also be sober. A drunken pillion rider can easily throw the bike out of balance. Actually, he is more dangerous. This guy might even fall asleep at the rear. Professional drivers are also barred from taking the test until further orders.
Applicants should have minimum 10 years’ driving experience with no accidents. They should bring their own liquor, glass, soda and ice or whatever. But a sober spare driver to drive him/her back home if he/she fails the test is mandatory. Women taking the test better not bring husbands along. They will finish the bottle in the car by the time they finish the test.
And of course for those who fail the test — it is a no-drunk ordinary licence like the one you and me hold now.
A “drunk driver licence” is only a drunker’s dream. If you drink and drive, you are an idiot. But then if you reach home, you are a legend.