I suffer from a peculiar allergy and I know that there is no cure for it. In spite of communication being done mainly by e-mail, the postman still has mail to deliver. And I sigh as I see the colourful envelope knowing that it contains an invitation — an invitation to a wedding. Sometimes I cannot place who is getting married and who has sent me the invitation. I am told that invitations are sent rather like this. If you are the member of a club, you are invited, although you may have only a nodding acquaintance with the person.
The more colourfully garish the wedding invitation, you can be sure that it is going to be a mega wedding. I once got a wedding invite in the shape of a clock! It is the mega wedding that I have to attend that bothers me.
When I go to one of these weddings I know that many of my friends and some of my relatives will be there. I look forward to meeting some of them. But no chance. The crowd is so big that it is difficult to spot them or if you do the seats near them are all occupied!
And so you are a captive audience to what is going on, on the stage. But you don’t get to see the wedding ceremony either. The view is completely blocked by photographers and “videographers”. But this is very thoughtfully taken care of. A TV screen shows you what is happening. Sometimes the audience is also captured and you may see yourself on the screen.
When the wedding is over you wait to congratulate the couple and give the customary gift. But the queue to the stage is humungous. It seems never ending as people keep coming one by one. You make your way and join the queue. It moves slowly as each guest congratulates the couple, gives the gift and gets photographed! It is perhaps a record for their photo album as to who had attended the wedding. Every single guest gets photographed with the bridal couple.And then we go to the dining hall. The multi cuisine buffet, North Indian, South Indian, Chinese, and Italian is laid out as if in a five-star hotel. But alas here also there is a queue, a long one with people blocking the way not moving from the tables. You hardly get to see what is offered. And you fill your plate with disappointment. There is a hackneyed saying, “Small is Beautiful”. And I long for the day when I can attend a wedding where I can move around and meet the people I know, where I can see the ceremonies without their being blocked by photographers, where the invitees are all closely related or friends of the bridal couple, and where I can have dinner served to me instead of having to wait in a queue as if some poor feeding was going on.
Very few people want to have a small wedding. They have to invite all and sundry, and the bigger the crowd, the prouder they feel. And since I have to attend these weddings, I have developed an allergy to them. Is there a cure for weddingitis?