Medical terminologies are high-sounding names, unintentionally jargonised beyond the perception of commoners, confusing and amusing at times. As far as medical jargons are concerned the dictum “ignorance is bliss” is unfailingly true. Most have their roots in alien languages and remain Greek and Latin for many. An ill-informed enthusiast could put many persons in trouble trying to decipher medical terminologies.
There was an anxious woman attending to her husband admitted to hospital with fever that did not respond to treatment. She kept annoying the clueless hospital staff with questions they were struggling to find an answer for. She happened to overhear a consultant remarking to a junior, “Idiopathy” referring to her husband. When her enthusiastic brother deciphered it for her she turned crimson with anger. His deciphering was “idiot’s husband” in line with Lakshmipathi, but in reality what the consultant mentioned was a malady without any perceptible cause or a humble “I don’t know”. The person once attributed the origin of “hernia” to Hiranya Kashyap whose intestine was pulled out by Narasimha. He concocted his hypothesis on learning that Caesarian section had its origin to Caesar who was said to have been born after tearing open the womb of his mother.
During my early days in pharma selling, part of the training used to be familiarisation of specialties of doctors. We were apprised of super-specialists such as chiropodists who specialise on foot. I wondered whether Jaipur leg makers could be called as “pseudopodists”. In medical jargon when “itis” is suffixed with a body part it would mean inflammation of that part and hence arthritis means inflammation of joints. However, in our parlance “Bossitis” is referred to the pin pricks of an unpleasant boss.
One of our colleagues was an ace salesperson, but considered less aware of medical terms and crude in communication. Asked to explain his success story on a new product, a vitamin mineral supplement, he stunned us saying he had sold it for the KKK syndrome, which none had heard of. He added this was a unique syndrome affecting middle-aged women of his area — Kai, kaal, kudaichal syndrome. Most middle-aged women come complaining to the doctor about pain in the hands and legs, mostly arising out of vitamin and mineral deficiency.
His feedback on the efficacy of the product on KKK syndrome was an eye-opener for the marketing bigwigs. “I have no knowledge and neither the doctors in my area on its efficacy. When a medicine does not work, usually the patients change the doctor, instead of the medicine. When the patients do not return, the doctor thinks they have been cured and continue prescribing it for others. When the patients get the same medicine from another, conclude that the medicine is very powerful and continue taking it. If not the medicine, confidence cures.”