Many articulate men never flaunt their English language skills, as brevity is their hallmark. However, many land in embarrassing situations thanks to improper use of the language. To be guided by learned men is a virtue; some men aren’t and prone to commit ludicrous mistakes.
A research scholar applied for a post-doctoral fellowship in a foreign university. The professor granted him the fellowship. The researcher, in acceptance, wrote: “Sir, I am extremely gracious in accepting your fellowship…” He needed to be grateful, but went on to convey his graciousness. However, it was the professor who was gracious in accepting the mistake as unintentional.
A Chinese man applied for a position in a mining company. The company selected him for the position and sent him an offer letter, laced with several riders indicating the risks. The Chinese replied: “I am aware that working in your company is a hazardous occupation…However, I am accepting the offer of appointment.” The company showed no benevolence and withdrew the offer of appointment.
A junior officer mailed his senior on an overseas vacation: “Sir, I am happy to know you are on an erotic vacation alone, in search of erotica.” He was unaware of the difference between “erotic” and “exotic” and paid a price for his gaffe.
Many shoot their mouths off, without appreciating what they convey. A parish priest was promoted to another state and at his farewell, a junior commented that the outgoing priest worked profanely for the uplift of the parish. In this case, “profoundly” was conveyed wrongly, carrying a mischievous meaning making the priest squirm.
At one Mr. Iyer’s 30th wedding anniversary, a friend claimed: “I commiserated you during your wedding and once again commiserate you on your 30th anniversary.” Mr. Iyer, without being piqued, smiled wryly with a huge sigh. Contrarily, the friend’s words—used instead of “congratulate”—conveyed Mr. Iyer’s plight. Fortunately, Mrs. Iyer didn’t take notice.
In certain instances, bad punctuation can mar a sentence and contort the message in an obverse manner. A certain Raj and his wife were working in a construction company—Raj as manager and his wife as the managing director’s secretary.
Raj and the managing director shared a lukewarm relationship. In a tender bidding, they had differences causing the file to shuttle up and down and in the process, valuable time was lost. As time ran out for the bid, the livid managing director fixed responsibility on Raj and called his secretary to issue a note on his behalf to all section heads, to convey that Raj was foolish in not bidding for the tender, on time. It also served the purpose of pricking Raj’s ego through his wife. Raj’s wife, though hurt, had to execute the order. She decided to put her limited punctuation skills to use! The note ran thus: “The managing director, conveyed Raj, was foolish in not bidding for the tender in time.”
No prizes for guessing the fate of the husband-wife duo in the company.