I am a regular user of the computer, and have been so for the past decade or more. And, like most of my friends, I’m comfortable with email, social media and MS Office. But when it comes to the innards of the computer my knowledge is zero raised to the power of infinity. Why or how a computer does the things it does, or sometimes doesn’t, in spite of my doing a tango on the “enter” and sundry keys, is beyond me.
So, if anything were to go wrong there was this trusted young professional, just a phone call away, who would come over, listen patiently to my rambling complaints, and set it right. That was so till a couple of years ago, when this lad decided to relocate to the browner pastures of the Middle East.
Recently, my computer started misbehaving. It wouldn’t connect to the Internet either through broadband or the thingummies called dongles, would switch off while I am working and, in general, emulate some of our parliamentarians. I called up the Internet service provider who said she would “walk me through”. I was a bit taken aback, because one normally uses fingers on the keyboard and mouse. I hesitantly agreed and got into a nightmarish situation that revealed my ineptness with computer lingo and actions. “Go to command prompt,” she said. I panicked as I’d not seen this prompt for ages. I finally announced my arrival at the sacred prompt. She said, “Please type 128.” I requested her to go slow.
She gladly did so and went, “128.mumbai brother Chennai.5.6n.” I laboriously typed out what she said and a message appeared—“Invalid command or…”—while the prompt disappeared. I dutifully informed her and she asked me what exactly I had typed. I said, “Just what you told me—128. Mumbai, i.e. m u m b a i bro…” “No sir,” she interrupted, exasperation evident, “M for Mumbai, B for brother…”
Oh! Being an alpha, bravo, man myself this was a new one. I came back to the prompt and typed in exactly what she meant. A message appeared (“Unidentified…”) and the box disappeared. “We have checked everything. The service is fine. It’s your BIOS.”
That was it. “Ma’am, I am not biased. In fact…” “Not bias, sir, BIOS.” And the line went dead. I have heard of Dios. So, maybe this is some lesser computer divinity.
I called up the manufacturer’s service centre. After numerical calisthenics on my phone, a voice responded. I explained my problem and was told “Go to…..” and the rerun of the nightmare began. Ultimately, a friend took pity on me and sent a professional from his office who promptly set things right.
Whatever happened to all those freelance professionals? How I long for the days when you could call up someone to fix your faulty equipment and he would come and do so on payment. No stress. This “walk through” business is becoming kind of scary.
I shudder to think of a situation where my car stalls and I call up the service centre and a voice tells me: “Take out the tool kit and I’ll walk you through the repair process.”