Toilets are a vital necessity for a healthy life. Two-fifth of world’s population lacks access to proper sanitation. Use of private toilets will help keep children in school and out of trouble. Every rupee invested in sanitation saves many more in health and productivity. So, push for sanitation reforms in India.
Besides, the toilet seat is an important place in the everyday life of a human being. Important decisions are taken while sitting on the toilet seat or WC (water closet), as one gets time to think without any disturbance.
Some read newspapers on the perch, racing against time before rushing out to the workplace. Some even spend a great deal of time reading books. They belong to the category of people who maintain a library in the toilet.
Recall the Hindi movie, Pati Patni Aur Woh, in which Sanjeev Kumar had a library in his toilet. I, for one, put the list of 100-odd components of the 106mm RCL gun (recoilless gun) next to the WC to memorise them, when I was undergoing the battalion support weapons course (during the RCL leg) as a captain in the army.
Once, two subalterns had to share a single officer’s quarters due to paucity of accommodation. A jawan came in the morning to convey a message of his company commander, as there were no mobiles then and there were very few telephones for important appointments. The jawan asked the subaltern about the “Lt X sahib’s” whereabouts. The subaltern replied, “Tumhare Lt sahib takht-e-taus par baithe hain, baad mein aao (your Lt sahib is sitting on the throne, come later). The jawan smiled and went off.
A young officer in the army had put the following written on a poster near the urinal in a cocktail party:
Operational order for impending operations:
Aim—To keep this area clean!
Execution—Keep your aim straight!
Once X had a few drinks at the bar. Then, he went to the loo to ease himself. When he was in one of the stalls in the restroom, the guy in the next stall said, “Hi, how is it going?” X replied, “Hu haha, it is going alright.” A couple of seconds later, the guy in the next stall asked, “What are you doing tonight?” X answered, “Just have a couple of beers and go home.” The other guy finally said, “Listen, I will call you back later. There is an idiot in the next stall answering everything I say.”
One morning, I was in the toilet for the routine ritual. There was an important call for me from a dignitary. My wife answered and told him that I would return the call as I wasn’t near the phone. The VIP asked my wife, “Where has he gone?” My wife replied, “He has gone to the call centre.” The caller asked, ‘Is Dilip working for a call centre now?” My wife giggled and said, “No! He has gone to the nature call centre.”