Learning to stand up for women

On most nights, after 9 pm, I would talk to my best friend, in a leisurely and happy manner, remembering old friends and interesting incidents.

On most nights, after 9 pm, I would talk to my best friend, in a leisurely and happy manner, remembering old friends and interesting incidents. We are both retired staff members of the same institution, but belonged to different departments.

One such incident was in the late 1970s when a senior faculty was retiring from service. In the office, the secretary was talking with some of the other faculty members regarding the farewell function. He always considered me as a youngster since I had a few years of service left. Nevertheless, he informed me about the event. I was aware that the retiring colleague’s husband was working in another department. So, I was confused: while the husband was in service, how did the wife get retirement? Without a second thought, I asked the question to the secretary. Everybody started laughing.

The secretary said, “Retirement is based on the age of the person, and not the age of her husband.” I said, “Yes, I know that, but her husband is elder than her, and should retire first.” The Secretary said, “In this case, she is older.” Shocked, I said, “It is a sin.” They asked me why. I said, “Like a parent, a husband sometimes beats his wife to correct her mistakes. If wives are older, then beating an elder is a sin.” Immediately, the others said, “Who said this?” I replied, “My grandpa.”
There was loud laughter again. The secretary pointed at me and said, “I am puzzled about how you have got three university degrees.” But a senior colleague supported me, by saying, “Don’t criticise her. She has lived a secluded life within her family.” They agreed and it ended happily. The next year, I was sponsored by the institution to go for higher studies. While I was getting ready to go, I met the staffer who supported me earlier. When she congratulated me, the secretary, in a teasing voice, said, “Don't reveal your grandpa's viewpoint there.”

I looked at the secretary and said, “If necessary, I will do so. That is, girls may make mistakes, can be negligent, and be arrogant, at times. They can be absent-minded, and, sometimes, not obey their husbands. But that does not mean that men should beat them up, just because they feel like doing so. Women should be treated in a dignified manner. After all, we are  equal to men. Why should we be any less? Aren't we as competent and smart like you?”
The secretary said, “She is no longer ignorant, but has become quite intelligent. And she has learnt to stand up for women.”


Email: phiemgee@gmail.com

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