One of my all-time favourite items of gossip is probably about Diane Von Furstenberg, who in 2011, was recovering from a broken nose and facial fractures after a ski accident in Aspen. She was lying in snow with a pool of blood all around her, and apparently, her first words were, “My cheekbones... my best feature!!”
“My cheekbones, my best feature!” HA. I love that. Seriously, in the moment of a LIFE ALTERING FALL; is there anything better than a cry of narcissistic outrage to distract people from the fact that you’ve totally fallen on your bum? I don’t think so.
Lets move on to the DVF of the fictional world, Carrie Bradshaw. In what is most definitely THE most annoying episode of SATC, she went all, “A real New York woman wouldn’t ever wear…..a SCRUNCHIE!!” And she squeals it in a high pitched, SQUEAKY tone. Now even if the scrunchie thing is totally true, there is just something about her that irks me… don’t get me started on those terrible puns she uses. Like everybody else on this planet, I have seen the episode over 10,000 times: and her voice shrieking “SCRRRUUNNCHIEE” with a trill on the “r” still haunts me. .
I’ll get to some good how-to-glow-like-a-fairy tips in a second, but I really needed to get that scrunchie thing off my chest. Let’s talk about the episode in Season 4, where she fell flat on her face when she was walking on a runway. And then how she fell flat on her face in Season 6 when she was at Dior.
Her recovery wasn’t really that subtle, and sometimes I think she should have followed the DVF route. “OMG, MY NOSE! MY CHEEKBONES! MY BEST FEATURES!” And maybe throw in, “I LEAVE FOR ASPEN TOMORROW — I HOPE THIS DOESN’T AFFECT MY SKIING!” (This is so she sounds more intercontinental.)
It’s a diva move that makes you instantly ridiculously endearing...I’m telling you. And these sexy South American women do it better than nobody else. Or is DVF European? It doesn’t matter, I’ve lived my life with bigger questions.
Incidentally, if you also believe that your cheekbones are your best feature, I’ve been super into my MAC highlighter, Soft and Gentle. What’s a little heartbreaking is that I see so many women looking like disco balls instead of the golden, mythical Greek goddesses that they envisioned. Here’s what I do: blend a little bit of highlight into my foundation for a more natural, glowing-from-within look. Highlighters have shade options too, so pick one closer to your skin tone so you look less Casper and more Cara Delevigne. This is especially great for looking deceptively glowy on hungover mornings, after a long night when you’ve been tripping all over yourself like a baby penguin. Just FYI.
(The writer loves to over-share,drink wine & watch period dramas)