Recently, I read news about Pakadwa Shaadi (forced wedding after abduction). The following day, it was announced that the man was able to escape. I heaved a sigh of relief. And I recalled another incident which happened when I was 10 years old.
In the late 1950s, our family lived in Tamil Nadu. A new neighbour, Jagan, who owned a rice mill, settled next to our house. He had three sons. His wife Parvathy was a homemaker. My mother was friendly with Parvathy. But she looked gloomy and never spoke much. We had never seen the husband and wife talk to each other in a friendly manner. Eventually, mummy found out the reason for Parvathy’s unhappy mood.
Parvathy’s husband was her own aunt’s son.
According to their custom, he was the right person to marry her. But Parvathy was interested in studies and completed her SSLC at the age of 17. In those days, girls getting an education was rare. As for Jagan, he had studied only up to Class 7. At first, when the proposal was made, Parvathy refused to marry Jagan. Her family was not in a good financial condition. But somehow, her father fixed up her marriage to a teacher. Though his finances were was not as strong as Jagan’s family’s, respecting his education, Parvathy agreed. When Jagan’s family came to know this, Parvathy was kidnapped and Jagan tied the knot forcefully.
Mummy consoled Parvathy in various ways. Once she said to her, “Parvathy, why don’t you try to get a daughter, certainly you will get some consolation in life”. But before mummy could finish, Parvathy said hurriedly, “No, I prayed hard that I shouldn’t get a girl child. And God listened to my prayers.”
Later as a joke, mummy told Parvathy, “Suppose if one of your sons is kidnapped and forced to marry, then Jagan may realise his mistake.” Parvathy smiled and said, “If a man is kidnapped and compelled to marry, nothing will happen. When he gets the chance he can coolly walk out. After marriage, the groom does not carry anything, either the thread (thaali) or other symbols of a married person. Meanwhile, within no time, a woman becomes pregnant, gives birth to children and looking after them becomes her responsibility. If a man is not willing, he can leave her at any time. We are seeing that”. Mummy replied, “No, in future, women will be safeguarded.”
But, unfortunately, Parvathy was not there to see the change. In the late 1980s both Jagan and Parvathy died in a car accident. Their sons have settled in different places.
Philomina George
Email: phiemgee@gmail.com