Albert Einstein must be turning over in his grave. After decades of celebration as a Nobel Prize winning physicist, known for his theory of relativity and the equation E = mc2, we are now told he did not have the brains to get the formula right. Why? Because he was a non-vegetarian! Non-vegetarian brains are jerky, so he went E = m(jerk)c(jerk)square. On the other hand, a vegetarian would have had a smoother formula—E equals emmceesquaare. Without the jerks and all the necessary drawls in place.
I am sure the originator of this vegetarian-non-vegetarian jerk theory deserves a Nobel Prize—Einstein’s prize in fact. They should snatch that Nobel away and award it to this newest scientist on the block. Oh, but wait! What is the scientific basis for this new theory? Brain-mapping? Experimentation in the laboratory?
Einstein was said to have a high IQ of 160 and his formula has had a great influence on the philosophy of science. Einstein’s may not have produced the bomb in the laboratory but his E = mc2 is the formula that led to the production of the first nuclear bombs in this world. The rest, as they say, is history.
But now the man challenging Einstein’s theory of relativity is no trained scientist.
It is controversial godman Swami Nityananda who described Einstein’s brain as crooked, adding, “E equals to not mc2. Cannot be mc2. What is mc2? The difference between intensity and continuity. What is energy? What is matter? Matter is continuity, energy is intensity. What do you call matter? Anything continuous. What do you call energy? Anything intense. The intensity and continuity is separate for a non-veg crooked brain which has seen only ups and downs. Only a vegetarian brain which can retain the experience continuously without losing the intensity can understand ‘m’ and ‘c’ is not ‘em-cee’.
It’s emmcee.”
Mumbo-jumbo? Not to worry—there are more such confusing theories from people who may not be so rooted in their faith in God but have tremendous belief in their own ability to engineer miracles. Manohar alias Sambhaji Bhide, the man rendered notorious for his alleged involvement in the riots of Bhima-Koregaon near Pune on January 1 this year, can help you conceive a son if you only have daughters. But for that you would have to eat mangoes from one particular tree in his orchard, he claimed. The Nashik Municipal Corporation promptly filed a case against this former professor from the upmarket Fergusson College in Pune for misleading the people.
The health department of the Nashik Municipal Corporation held a probe and filed charges against Bhide for violating Section 22 of the PCPNDT Act (prohibition of advertisement relating to pre-conception and pre-natal determination of sex and punishment for contravention). Bhide has been dodging the notice and the civic body now plans to go to court. But Union Minister of State for Home Satyapal Singh took the cake a few months ago when he challenged Darwin’s theory of evolution and denied human beings had evolved from apes. “No human being ever saw another morph from an ape.”
The minister insisted on changing the syllabi in schools on the theory of evolution accordingly. The amazing thing about Singh’s low scientific knowledge is that he was a former commissioner of police in Mumbai, had scored high in his IPS exams and is a Masters in Chemistry besides. When people laughed and booed at him, he stuck doggedly to his own theory of evolution—which was nothing but an indigenous version of Adam and Eve and continues to propagate his fantastic theories to whoever cares
to listen.
But now the worst kind of spin and falsehoods come from an anglicised godman. It has been easier to call him out because he has been less obscurantist and more political in his statements. He recently claimed that there have been no bomb blasts in India over the past four years.
The godman was instantly trolled on social media with many people pointing out 400-plus blasts including in states like Maharashtra, Manipur and Chhattisgarh and, of course, Jammu and Kashmir—all IED devices which are the favourite of home-grown terrorists.
The godman’s discourses are always banal and full of inanities but what appalled me most was his recent statement on unemployment in India. I am appalled that he should stand before a roomful of top-ranking B-school students and tell them not to talk about unemployment because jobs were aplenty in the country but not enough people to do them!
What did the godman mean? Should a top management graduate apply for vacancies in the municipal corporation for the jobs of scavengers or sweepers? Or a science graduate set up an aloo-bonda stall outside his former college?
I wonder why we are letting godmen peddling pseudoscience into our lives or even falling for their unscientific gibberish. We take so much pride in our ancient scientists like Aryabhatta and Brahmagupta. Do we really want to replace them with such know-nothings in the common public perception?