A lot of times what weighs us down is not just our weight in terms of kgs and inches, but also negative emotions. One such negative emotion is the grudges we hold against someone. This creates a certain biochemical reaction in our body. A happy emotion can make our cells vibrate higher and a sad or angry emotion can do exactly the opposite. Hence it’s best to not hold or bottle up any sort of grudges. Releasing is healing.
Effect of grudges on our health:
1. It weighs us down and drains our energy: Negativity and negative emotions can truly rob us of our energy which we rather use in healing and more productive things.
2. Increases cortisol: If we are constantly holding grudges, our body perceives it as a stressful situation and thus starts to release cortisol hormone. Increased levels of cortisol have a connection with every single disease—from weight gain, diabetes to cancer.
3. Grudges and diseases: It’s a proven fact that emotions like anger, hate, resentment have a strong relation with diseases like cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, gall bladder issues, etc. It is important to work with our physical body, nutrition as well as emotional health at the same time. When we get angry and have rage in us, it injures the arteries and produces inflammation. No amount of cholesterol medication will heal an artery which is destroyed or injured by anger and rage. It’s the emotions we need to work on.
So, should we not feel them (grudges) at all? We are humans and each of us are born with varying levels of anger, bitterness, resentment, hate, grudges. It’s okay to experience these till the time these emotions don’t start inflating and overpowering us.
How do deal with it?
1. Practice acceptance and letting go: Once mastered, these become the key to happiness and joy. Accept whatever has hurt or affected you, feel every emotion that comes from it and let it go without having you get into a victim mode. Letting go off these grudges, releasing what you have held on to for such a long time is true freedom. There is an immediate feeling of lightness once you do that.
2. Practice forgiveness: We also hold grudges because of our inability to forgive that person. So, forgive because it is what your body needs to feel happy and heal. Studies have found that the act of forgiveness can lower the risk of heart attack, improve lipid profiles, reduce pain and blood pressure, improve sleep quality and levels of anxiety. It also points out the correlation between increase in the forgiveness and health as we age. There are various ways to express this—send a forgiveness note, message, text or email or silently offer a prayer for them or talk to them and express your feelings.
Try this exercise and see if it helps in releasing the grudges you have against them—make a list of people you have a grudge against and feel that they take away energy from you. It could be through an unresolved emotion, feelings of revenge, hurt feelings, unspoken words or any type of discomfort. As you add names, recall and feel why you added their name. After you create the list, write a blessing for each one of them. The blessing has to come from your heart—for it to truly reach his/her heart. Having said that, there are some instances where it may be hard to forgive a person. But this activity works for most grudges that stem from anything apart from this.
(The author is a Mumbai-based holistic lifestyle coach)