CHENNAI: As parents, we all know by now that we should never compare our children to other children. It’s just not a good look. Gone are the days when a parent could look at their child and wistfully ask aloud ‘Why can’t you be more like Kavitha from the next lane? She plays the mridangam and is planning to study Astrophysics at MIT.’ No, our children are flowers and must be tended to with kindness, empathy and excessive praise, even if they look like they’re all set to pursue a career as a professional nose-picker.
But guess what is allowed today? Children are free to criticise and compare parents. It’s befitting that after hundreds of years being on the receiving end of unjust comparisons, children turn the tables and ask parents why they aren’t doing better. ‘Aadi has a cellphone. His mother trusts him.
Why can’t you be more like her?’ ‘Did you know that Aunty edits all of V’s YouTube videos. She’s the reason he has 100 subscribers. Why can’t you be more supportive like her?’ Or, ‘At M’s house, they have interesting food for dinner every night. Mexican, Chinese, Italian! Why are we eating this again?’ (No one saw the humour in my response that we were feasting on fermented rice and lentil cakes with a comfit of coconut and tomato.) Well, the latest attack being mounted against me by my children is why aren’t I more like Mrs Rao. Who is Mrs Rao, you ask? Why, the mother of Time Magazine’s first every Kid of the Year Gitanjali Rao.
According to Wikipedia, Gitanjali Rao is an Indian American inventor, author, scientist, and STEM promoter. She won the Discovery Education 3M Young Scientist Challenge in 2017. She was recognised as Forbes 30 Under 30 for her innovations. On its December 4, 2020 cover, Time named Rao “Kid of the Year”. Now, 10 years ago, I could have asked my kids ‘Why can’t you be more like Gitanjali? Go, solve a global problem y’all!’ But these days, it’s the other way around. My kids come up to me and ask why I’m not giving them enough STEM opportunities.
Why I haven’t sensitised them to the problems of the world and made them feel like in their small palms calloused from too much PS4 lies a solution. Why I don’t encourage them to get off the couch and explore the world around them. I tried to point out that they don’t listen when I urge them to get off the couch and explore the dishwasher, so it’s unlikely they’ll listen to this. ‘I bet Mrs Rao is always encouraging Gitanjali to pursue new and exciting things’ the kids say to each other wistfully.
‘You both don’t even want to try new cereal for breakfast!’ I cry. ‘I bet she gets to go for so many enrichment classes that expand her horizons.’ The nine-year- old says. ‘You don’t even want to attend your regular classes.’ I protest. ‘Amma, you should really stop making excuses. Mrs Rao would never do that.” After much back and forth, I do what any self-respecting parent would do. I roll my eyes, descend into a deep and play Candy Crush.
MENAKA RAMAN @menakaraman
The writer’s philosophy is: if there’s no blood, don’t call me