BENGALURU : Celebs! Some of them are parents too! If you thought celeb parents are different from regular parents, you are WRONG. For example, celebrity kids get papped all the time and, just recently, a neighbour took a photo of my son for walking our dog without visibly holding a newspaper in his hand to pick up after him. Take that Taimur!
And really, is there any difference between being invited to a late night talk show and a dinner party at No 35? In both you have a captivated audience, who is just dying to hear you share a hilarious, touching, unbelievable-but-true story about being a parent. Okay, maybe that story about the time you forgot one of the kids in a supermarket trolley doesn’t get the same laughs Ashton Kutcher would if he told it, and maybe the other guests sidle away from you awkwardly and you spend the rest of the evening talking to the hosts’ bored, overweight beagle. But really, what’s a few minor details?
Sure, if you’re an actress or a model, you get invited to be on some fashion magazine’s ‘Fab at 40’ and ‘Flirty at 50’ and ‘Best Post Baby Booty’ cover. But who needs fashion shoots when we have the ‘gram that has democratised fashion. Or something. Star in, direct and style your own cover shoot! And then, upload it with catchy captions across social media, like ‘The Ten Things I don’t do every morning!’ or ‘Drinking a glass of warm water in the morning is the secret to good bowel movement!’. Instant stardom.
Also, I see there’s this big hoo-ha over how celebrity mothers are rewriting the rules around dressing one’s age. Sure, J’Lo and Shakira’s performance at the Super Bowl was amazing. What’s even more amazing is that everyone in India is tweeting this even though most of us think Super Bowl is a giant Corningware convention. But that’s not the point. Don’t get down on yourselves when you see these gorgeous women up on stage!
We can all look like this! We can all dance like this! Sure, maybe the prerequisites are that you are alone at home, the curtains are drawn and you sanitise the mop handle before using it as a pole, but again, don’t get bogged down by the details. Celebrity parents are just as obsessed as plebeian parents are with throwing OTT birthday parties that their one year old will never remember.. Kylie Jenner threw her toddler a birthday party in a theme park, specially created for the event. She called it ‘StormiWorld’ after her bebe and it had Disney-themed sections! You know that moment at a birthday party where the parents are like ‘Come everyone! Come quickly!
We’re cutting the cake before rahukalam and yamagandam and shuklapaksham!’ and children are dragged away mid tattoo to dig some ganache out with their germ infested fingers? How does that work in a birthday venue so big you need a map to navigate? Anyway, I’m not sure how the non-birthday party I threw my boys last year was any different from StormiLand. I told them to use their imagination and dream of an out-of-this-world birthday party. I’m sure the make-believe birthday party they dreamed of was just as spectacular. Celebrity parents. They are just like us.
menaka raman @menakaraman
The writer’s philosophy is: if there’s no blood, don’t call me