CHENNAI: What kind of shampoo do you use?” “Hotel?” Call me old school, but I don’t believe that a wash can exist for your body, hair, face, hands, carpet, car and dishes. I once met a man who was convinced that he could use fabric softener as a conditioner. While I’m not saying that this is the reason for his baldness issue, let me just tell you that he had a full head of hair before he moved out of his parents house and started making decisions by himself.
This is my qualm: you can never be anything but let down by something that claims to clean and condition your hair in one. Fabric softener in your hair simply cannot, and should not be done. I came across a wash by Dr Bonners, which promises to do 18 things — wash your hair and body, use it as a breath fresher and even a vegetable rinse. It works on bugs!!! Can someone please explain to me how this can possibly be a good idea? These products have a terrible pH which essentially leaves you dry, turning your skin into straw till it falls off, with little bits of caked in dandruff.
Please, for the love god, invest in actual shampoo, conditioner and bug spray. Don’t fall for this trope of being a “real man” who does not succumb to the frivolities of deodorant. It only makes you an ignorant man. While we are at it, wet wipes do not equal taking a bath, and no, you cannot do your dishes in the shower. Is it the terrible marketing of these products? The Fiji Old Spice deodorant for men promises to transport you to a tropical island paradise, with “volcano-powered” scents and palm trees. Of course, it continues to talk about “exotic females” but reading that, in a forgotten aisle of a pharmacy, I realise — I may be the only “exotic female” on that island. In fact, I may the only female on that island.
The difference is staggering. Scents for women sound so inviting, melodious…we have Tangerine Butters, Golden Clementines and Winter Dews. On the other hand, we have products for men, which invariably sound so much more aggressive. Pure Sport, Tobacco Dust, Extreme Overdrive Destruction, Terry Crews, Gun. Credit must be given where it’s due, though. I’ve long sworn by men’s razors and cologne. It’s 2020 and gendered fragrances are a thing of the past. The razors just do the job so much better (though you must consider switching to safety blades if you’re trying to be eco-friendly) and also cheaper without the pink tax. Oh, the pink tax! Since it’s my column and you have to listen to MY problems, another long winded quip about gendered beauty products will find you next week. More anon.
Saumya R Chawla @pixie.secrets