It has been six years since the present government came to power, and there are two features of its functioning. The first is the government’s proclivity to declare taxes without any notice. The second is to turn a deaf ear to criticism. In spite of being a vociferous critic of the previous government, the present government seems to turn the other way when criticism is brought up. Instead of addressing the criticism, the government has contributed to colloquial literature by inventing terms like ‘presstitude’ and ‘sickular’.
Of course, there is nothing inherently wrong with levying taxes. Taxes are needed for the healthy functioning of the economy. What is unfathomable is the utter lack of acceptance of criticism. Even as the entire country is protesting, PM Modi maintains a deafening silence, and tweets about his foreign trips. It’s true that nobody likes to listen to criticism about themselves. But unfortunately, the proper functioning of a democracy requires criticism.
Having studied Commerce for all of five years, Yours Truly has come up with a paradigm-shifting idea. The idea is to combine both the traits of the government, and introduce a Criticism Tax. Under this system, the government charges the people an amount every time we criticise the government. The government keeps the money, while listening to our grievances. While the idea might seem outlandish, it must be remembered that every great idea is originally considered inconceivable. When Galileo claimed that the earth moved around the sun, he was imprisoned.
So how will the tax work? Every time you criticise the government, a junior gazetted officer appears with a challan. The officer takes your amount and notes down your criticism. Your next question might be – is it a progressive tax or regressive tax? At an idea level, it is certainly progressive. The tax is also progressive in another way. You are allowed to criticise based on the amount you pay. For example, by paying an amount of `15, you will only be allowed to criticise the finance minister. But if you wish to criticise the Pradhaan Sevak himself, you will have to pay a higher amount. It will bring in the seriousness that a tweet or Facebook post will never possess. And unlike with Facebook and Twitter, the government cannot imprison you for expressing your opinion. The next step is to install kiosks where people can walk in, drop a coin, and voice their criticism against the government. We will be bringing in change, literally through change!
The Criticism Tax will ensure that both parties are happy. On one hand, it will ensure a vibrant economy with the government collecting more taxes. On the other hand, the people of India get to exercise their democratic right to criticise the government they voted for. While you consider this proposal, dear finance minister, I request you not to put me in jail. I have heard that the WiFi is rather weak. I am a firm believer in your Digital India project.
Hriday Ranjan Writer, comedian
(The author’s views are his own)