Down the rabbit hole with crazy Bernie

The leader is on a roll, pumped up with the vitamin of adoration, totally in command of his audience and himself.

Published: 01st March 2020 05:00 AM  |   Last Updated: 29th February 2020 03:56 PM   |  A+A-

Bernie Sanders

The leader is on a roll, pumped up with the vitamin of adoration, totally in command of his audience and himself. He hardly acknowledges the competition except for an occasional derisive tweet. They, on the other hand, are a bucket of crabs, pulling down one another with more viciousness than for their target. Sounds familiar? No, it’s not Narendra Modi and the Opposition. It is Donald Trump versus the Democrats.

There is none in the Republican Party with the cojones to take on Trump. Mr Orange Spray Tan has no doubt in his noggin of winning in 2020, while many Democrats fear they will be hit out of the park. Other Dems are snacking on lotuses. In 2014, Modi had no doubt he would score: his garam masala of muscular nationalism and promises of global glory outshone the vapid rose-throwing voodoo of Rahul Gandhi’s “nyay”. Did Sonia give the reins to the only man who could have led the party out of the dynastic bog, Sharad Pawar? Nope. She bet on defunct DNA, who got a kick more out of embracing Modi than realpolitik.

The Democratic presidential race has dwindled to the Foolish Five: geriatric front runner Bernie Sanders, senile Joe Biden, perm bank Elizabeth Warren, rookie chocolate boy Peter Buttigieg and not-a-hope-in-hell Amy Klobuchar. Last, there is Michael Bloomberg, the only man with the moolah and mojo to reach the knockout round and perhaps even win the tournament. But will the Foolish Five have it? No sirreee, deep down they know they have no chance at the honey pot, except Sanders, a pro-Soviet Socialist who is also said to be getting help from Putin. But who is their Lex Luthor? Not the President who calls them a bunch of losers.

Their Frankenstein is Michael Bloomberg. Crazy Bernie, as Trump calls him, could win the nomination; it is throwing moderate Dems into full panic mode. His ideas are more bizarre than a tinpot econovangelist’s. He wants the US to adopt the Soviet model of state-subsidised economy which is even more data-intrusive than Facebook. Worse, he has no idea how to pay for it. Moreover, Crazy Bernie with a Pakistani as his top advisor will be as good as India as an asp for Cleopatra. Moderate Democrats in a last-ditch attempt to save their party are pleading to the Foolish Five to make way for Bloomberg. They won’t. They hate him more than Trump. Or just envy his money.

Political parties with a death wish offer freebies because they have no agenda. Voters know Trump has delivered on the economy. He got away from the impeachment fallout. His guys are either too terrified or loyal. But the Foolish Five have doomed their party by attacking Bloomberg, a billionaire-philanthropist who has given more money to deserving causes than Warren can pay her hairdresser. Just like Rahul is Modi’s best asset, Trump has Crazy Bernie and the Foolish Five as his poll managers.

Ravi Shankar


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