This poem can be sung to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody, Baby Shark or the Pen Apple Pineapple Pen song. Maybe not the last two. It can be paired with cheese and wine. No need for anything fancy; Amul slices and the old, squished-up grapes you forgot about at the bottom of the fridge will do.
Mother’s lines:
Is this the real life?
Is this a bad dream?
Stuck in the house all day,
You know you just want to scream.
You open your eyes,
To look in the fridge and see,
I’m just a poor Ma, I need some sympathy,
Because I’m easy come, easy go, (not really!)
Little high, little low, (like a kite!)
Any way, the wine tastes doesn’t really matter to me, to me.
Child’s lines:
Mama, he called me a butt poo,
So I put his head inside the loo
Pulled the flush and now he’s wet.
Mama, are you alright?
Your face is red and covered in sweat!
Other child’s lines:
Mama, ooh,
Didn’t mean to make you cry,
I’m sorry I deleted your PPT for tomorrow
And then carried on, carried on as if didn’t really matter. (Mother optional line: It really doesn’t)
Mother’s lines:
Too late, your time has come,
Plus I’ve also run out of wine,
I feel like drinking all the time.
Goodbye, everybody, I’ve got to go,
Gotta leave you all behind and go buy some booze.
Mama, ooh (Any way the wind blows),
I don’t want to lie,
You’re scaring us with that look in your eye.
Partner’s lines:
I see a little silhouette of a beard,
And a mouche and a mouche will you please do some threading?
Thunderbolt and lightning your face is very frightening.
(Vadivelu) Vadivelu.
(Vadivelu) Vadivelu
Vadivelu
Is it you-o-o-o-o.
Mother’s lines:
I’m just a poor ma, nobody loves me.
She’s just a poor ma stuck with her family,
Spare her this life it’s a monstrosity.
Office colleagues:
Easy come, easy go, will you join this Zoom?
Bismillah! No, we will not let you go. (Let her go!)
Bismillah! We will not let you go. (Let her go!)
Bismillah! We will not let you go. (Let her go!)
Will not let you go. (Let me go!)
Never let you go (Never, never, never, never let me go)
Oh oh oh oh
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Oh, mama mia, mama mia (Mama mia, let me go.)
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me.
Mother’s lines:
So you think you can go and watch TV?
So you think you can sit on your a** and ask for tea?
Oh, baby, can’t do this to me, baby,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here.
(Ooooh, ooh yeah, ooh yeah)
Everyone together:
Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters,
Nothing really matters to me.
Any way the wind blows...
menaka raman @menakaraman