HYDERABAD: Most of us live our lives in anticipation of ‘enriched’ experiences, fun, happiness and purpose. Those who live what others term as ‘routine’ lives, live in fear of criticism and feel inferior that their lives are not as ‘enriched’ as their friends’ and families’.
Blame social media if you must, but pictures of vacations, treks, pilgrimages, game resorts, mountain cabins and foreign travel can make anyone envious and also question their own bland existence.
The pandemic has also brought in its own mantra of social service, helping the poor and fighting for hospital beds, which again made us feel that we are lesser mortals who aren’t doing enough to enrich our lives and the lives of others. Today, we seem to believe that one must live up to the expectations of others in order to have a ‘great’ life. So, we plan vacations beyond our financial capacity, perform Instagrammable weddings, throw parties that look good on social media and still wonder why we feel empty inside.
What does a great life look like to us? A close-knit family like in the coffee ads? A steady job? A beautiful house that needs hours of labour to maintain? Children who are picture perfect with high grades? Family vacations to exotic places? Making a difference to the world by acts of altruism or splendid research? Activism, perhaps?
Is it a life of pleasure (hedonism) or a sense of purpose (eudaimonia) and the sense of pride one feels when making a difference to others’ lives.
Recent research suggests that a good life doesn’t have to be happy, meaningful or even fun. Today, it has many alternatives that are not focused on Aristotle’s theories of personal happiness or gain, or even altruism, a sense of purpose or fulfillment. It’s just a life that is ‘psychologically rich.’
Now, what is a psychologically rich life? It broadly means that one can derive richness in life through changes in perspectives of how society views life. An enriching life mainly speaks about interesting experiences.
Psychological enrichment doesn’t have to be an expensive or a fun pursuit. It can mean simple things such as surviving this pandemic, having fruitful discussions at work, spending quality time with the family and oneself, exploring the bylanes of your neighbourhood or even bereavement or loss in the family. Over time, one realises that if we allow ourselves to experience only narrow modules and societal ideologies of what a good life should be, we are shutting out vast richness and psychological experiences that can actually be life-changing.
(The author is a mental health professional and psychotherapist at Dhrithi Wellness Clinic)
Add psychological richness to you life
Break free of the routine life a few times a year
Encourage kids to read books other than textbooks, explore concepts and ideas
Allow your family to follow their own ideologies
Accept people, their lives, ideas and experiences
Understand that the world or social media doesn’t really care about you, your achievements or your life
Lastly, form your own experiences, ‘live’ every experience