So Bilkis Bano’s rapists and her child’s murderers are out. Maybe the law permits it: I do not know nor do I understand how. But welcoming the convicts with garlands and sweets was horrendous. India has cried out and the Supreme Court has taken cognisance. But if their release was permitted by the law, then the law must be changed.
Bilkis’ case is just one more aspect of patriarchy. Patriarchy denies a woman certain rights, such as the right over her body, her choice of lifestyle, and the right to condemn those who violate her body. Young girls are still “married off” by giving a dowry to the boy or his family—essentially, the man is paid to take her off her parents’ hands. I asked my Bihari cook why their girls were married so young. And the answer was shocking—“If they are not married, they will be raped.” No wonder India’s population has such skewed sex ratios.
Let’s start with Sita and Draupadi. The former was sent away by her husband because someone doubted her purity—if she was molested by Ravana. She was not, but let’s suppose she was. She was physically small, while he was a ten-headed monster. He had every advantage. Was her banishment fair? Draupadi’s story was worse. She was disrobed in a room full of men, with her husbands and elders watching silently. Fortunately, Draupadi was saved by Lord Krishna. Later, her father and brothers gave up their lives to avenge her dishonour. Her five husbands became kings. Women are given subtle messages of inferiority—they are trained not to challenge discrimination, exploitation or subjugation. A girl’s chastity is the mark of her father’s honour. But she is fair game for other men.
The 21st century woman wants freedom and equality. But is that permissible in a patriarchal society? Men want to assert their superiority in these circumstances. Physical superiority is all that is left to many. And they assert it. The Bilkis Bano case has nothing to do with Hindus and Muslims. What about Nirbhaya, a Hindu girl raped and killed by Hindus? When it comes to rape and murder, religion is irrelevant. Hindu women were abducted and raped by Moplah Muslim men in Kerala, while a Hindu woman from Delhi was abducted and locked up for eight months, physically assaulted, and forced to convert to Islam after refusing to marry the accused, Saif Ansari. Christian priests have been accused of rape. No community is good or bad. Rapists and murderers will harm any helpless woman. Bilkis was at the wrong place at the wrong time. The tragedy today is the release of the rapists.
Patriarchy starts during childhood, and discrimination starts at home. Girls get dolls and kitchen sets, and boys get toy cars and toy guns—Playing with dolls and household work are ‘girly’ games. This teaches the latter that violence is a game. Girls play at home while boys go out and play cricket or football. In situations when food is rationed, girls get less and boys get more. Girls look after younger siblings while boys go to school. Thus, early in their lives, men are programmed to treat women as inferior beings. It doesn’t end here—school textbooks further perpetuate the gender divide—examples in study material show the father going for work and the mother cooking in the kitchen. The son plays cricket while the daughter helps her mother make chapatis.
Boys are taught that “real men don’t cry”. The male child must not express normal feelings like fear or sorrow—he is expected to banish sensitivity and compassion, creating an armour of boldness, recklessness and cruelty. A ‘real man’ is expected to express power and control, leading to vicious actions such as aggression and physical cruelty. Often, rape is blamed on the woman: her clothes, her being out late, etc. Within the family, men make the decisions and women are expected to comply. Women are killed by male family members for “dishonouring the family”. A man who is unable to find a woman to attack, hurts an animal instead, to prove his masculinity.
Indian films have also contributed to the image of the bold young man vis-à-vis the shy college student in a salwar-kameez. The young man will whistle at her, remark on her looks, etc. Initially, she will toss her head and walk on. Finally, she succumbs to the lothario, thus justifying the obnoxious behaviour we see on the streets—behaviour which leads to kidnappings and rapes. And suddenly, the scene changes to one where the girl is dressed minimally and is dancing (often very obscenely) with the man. This is the triumph of patriarchy.
Patriarchy is also shaped by forces like caste and class, the urban-rural divide, geography and other environmental factors. Competition and aggression are an essential part of male career growth. The world of business, management and politics eschews women. In the world of business interaction, men are dominant while women have many glass ceilings to break. Women have a tough ride to reach the top without patronage from fathers, husbands or male family members. Many business families exclude daughters from their inheritance planning. With the exception of a few Mayawatis and Mamatas, most women politicians—starting with Indira Gandhi—are somebody’s daughter or wife. Women are paid less in offices and relegated to subordinate and low-paying jobs in agriculture and construction. Job selections prefer men to women as the latter, it is believed, will not travel and will take long maternity leaves. The odds are stacked against women.
During the Vedic period, women enjoyed equal status with men—they were educated and married late, and had the freedom to select their husbands. But their position deteriorated soon after, coming to abysmally low levels in the medieval period. Gradually, women were treated as secondary citizens because the patriarchal system was all-powerful.
All over the world, women are treated as an inferior class of beings by men. Yet all men came out of the womb of a woman. Whose fault is their attitude? The mother’s or society’s?
Historian, environmentalist and writer based in Chennai