Which host would not be upset, or at least vexed, by uninvited guests gatecrashing into his marriage feast? Tighter vigilance may weed out obvious elements like street urchins. But what about the sophisticated gatecrasher who comes to the party dressed as impeccably as the welcome guests? The bride’s side believes he belongs to the groom’s entourage, and vice-versa! No one dares to challenge him for fear of creating an ugly situation. Making small talk with strangers, he steadily makes his way to the large table of goodies. Not for him the commonplace rice or vegetables; he must have the real thing—chicken butter masala!
At my son’s wedding, I observed one such impostor moving furtively and confronted him within teasing distance of the chicken. “Do I know you?” I asked point blank.
“I... I’m... your... brother-in-law’s friend,” he blurted out. “But I have no brother-in-law!” I retorted. He winced. My bolt had hit home! Sheepishly he put down the plate and turned to leave. But I stopped him. How auspicious was it to let someone leave the wedding venue hungry, no matter how unwanted his presence? I handed over the plate to him. But with his secret out, his movements were closely observed and he could hardly do justice to the evening’s feast.
A friend of mine had an interesting tale to tell. For his son’s marriage he had arranged a reception in the community hall of their apartment complex and invited only select guests from the building. As there was a history of gatecrashing at the hall, both father and son were extra vigilant. My friend spotted an elderly, well-dressed gentleman moving suspiciously. When he asked his son about the doubtful visitor, the latter denied knowing him at all. To confront or not to confront an elderly gent? My friend decided to take the bull by its horns.
“Oh, I’m from flat number 1234,” the ‘guest’ said with a smile while piling more chicken on his plate. The baffled host couldn’t recall meeting the residents of flat 1234, but he didn’t press the matter. Next day, enquiries about flat 1234 revealed that the old man stayed there with his son. He had been drawn to the dining table by the irresistible aroma of the chicken, which was denied to him in a vegetarian household! “An old man’s blessings on a full stomach of chicken,” joked my friend, “is better than two empty plates!”
Ishwar Pati
Email: ishwarpati@gmail.com