NAVI MUMBAI: Jemimah Rodrigues sat on the press conference dais of the DY Patil Stadium in Navi Mumbai on Thursday night and waited for the media to assemble while watching Australia’s Ellyse Perry and head coach Shelley Nitschke completing their mixed zone interactions on one side of the room.
Even as the mixed zone interactions were winding down, one of them from the press pack asked for an autograph for her daughter, who is a big fan. The media manager said ‘Maybe later. Rodrigues intervenes. “It’s okay, give me,” she said, before hearing out the daughter’s name and obliging with the autograph. A little over five minutes pass by, and she waits patiently at the height of her emotions.
Rodrigues — after having fielded for 50 overs, spent 47 overs batting, playing the innings of her life in front of 35,000 fans and family to take India into the World Cup final — was spent. Both physically and mentally. Long before she walked into the room to address the media, she was in tears. First, when Amanjot Kaur hit the winning runs and took India home, she fell on the field, broke down and was embraced and engulfed by her teammates. She ran to her best friend, Arundhati Reddy, who had been a pillar of support over the last month, shedding some tears and a bear hug. Then, she opened up about her mental health struggles through the World Cup during the post-match presentation in tears, again. “I have cried almost every day through this tour. Not doing well mentally, going through anxiety,” she would say.
By now, at the press conference, she had started answering questions in detail about the historic chase, her 167-run partnership with captain Harmanpreet Kaur and the nerves of it all, her century, what it meant and the winning moment. After all, she had been there in far too many such chases where, once she fell, India would collapse. “All I said was that I want to be there till the end and finish the game. This just feels like a dream, actually. It just felt like everything was such a setup. Because the last month wasn't the easiest, but it just felt like a set-up for this moment,” she would touch on the topic before getting back to the cricketing matters.
Indeed, it is a historic cricketing moment for India and Rodrigues. However, beneath all the runs, boundaries, and the victory was a human being who was not doing well mentally. When asked if she could talk about the emotions of it all, she broke down. With her eyes soaked in tears and voice choking, Rodrigues said she wanted to be vulnerable so that it would help anyone who watched this and was going through the same thing in life. “I was going through a lot of anxiety at the start of the tournament. It was a lot. Before a few games, I used to call my mom and cry the entire time, let it all out. Because when you are going through anxiety, you just feel numb. You don't know what to do. You are trying to be yourself.
“In this time, my mom, dad supported me a lot. Also, there was Arundhati, whom I think almost every day, I have cried in front of her. Later, I was joking, I said, ‘You don't come in front of me, I will start crying’. But she checked on me every single day. There was Smriti (Mandhana), who knew what I was going through. Radha, who has always been there taking care of me. I am so blessed to have friends, I can call family, that I didn't have to go through it alone. It's okay to ask for help,” Rodrigues laid her emotions bare in front of everyone.
If going through the anxiety of it all during the World Cup was not enough, just when she was gaining support from her friends and family, Rodrigues was dropped for the England game in Indore. “That really hit me,” she struggled to speak in tears. “When you are dropped, you have a lot of doubts because you always want to contribute to the team. But that day, I couldn't do much sitting out. Then, when you come back in, it's a lot more pressure than everything that was happening in the past month,” she explained.
Soon after the team arrived in Navi Mumbai, Mandhana would watch over Rodrigues while she was batting in the nets before India’s last three games in Navi Mumbai. At that moment, from the outside, it seemed like they were discussing cricket, but Rodrigues explained what was actually happening. “(In) a few of the net sessions, she was just standing there. Even yesterday, when she came, she just stood there just because (I needed her), and didn't say much. She just knows that her presence is important to me,” she said.
Through all this, Rodrigues kept telling herself to hang in there, and things would fall in place. “I am very grateful for the people who believed in me when I couldn't and were there for me and understood me. Because I couldn't do this on my own,” she would say before thanking God and quoting a Bible verse. “The Bible says that, ‘weeping endures for a night, but joy cometh in the morning’. And today joy came, but I am still weeping,” she finally smiled, wiping the tears rolling down her cheeks.
Indeed, joy did not come just for Rodrigues, but the entire country; India are now a finalist at a home ODI World Cup.
