CHENNAI: ACE squash player Joshna Chinappa has admitted to having a lack of motivation to train because of the uncertainty brought about by the coronavirus pandemic.
With the PSA on hold at least the end of July, the World No 11 says she has lost her sense of time during this highly unstructured routine. Excerpts from an interview with this daily:
What have you been doing in the last two months in terms of keeping fit? Have you managed to play squash?
Definitely no squash. To be honest, things are a bit disoriented because there is no structure or discipline to anything right now. I just kind of wake up when I wake up, I do what I want, when I want to train, I train. So, just in terms of that, it's been completely different from what I am used to (normally). But, overall, just been fortunate to be back home before the lockdown happened. I was in Egypt (she was taking part in the Black Ball Women's Open from March 8-14) so I was lucky enough to get back in time and, touch wood, everything has been okay so far.
Can you elaborate a bit on the structure-less lifestyle of late? And is it a pleasant difference from your usual routine of waking up at five, going to train, flying to a different place and repeating it every week?
Initially, it was great. For me, I was looking forward to the break, just staying in one place for some time. But then, you are so used to going somewhere especially because we were in the middle of our season. It was really strange to not be taking a flight, to not train the way I am used to or not having access to the courts and all of that. At the same time, the situation is bigger than any of us or any of our lifestyles. It is just about making sure that we stay safe, healthy and try and keep fit in these challenging times.
So are you one of those who wake up every morning, read the news, get disheartened or have you learned to disassociate yourself?
I don't think I have seen a day before 12.00 am in the last two months (laughs). So I don't know what morning you are referring to. But I definitely read the news in terms of what's happening, how many cases, where all it's serious just to be aware. But it's obviously brutal when you read stories of how everyone else is suffering, trying to get back home, no food... that's probably the only time I get upset when I see how difficult it is for other people in our country. You just hope and pray that they are being looked after and help is given to them.
Athletes have tried to establish set routines just to give their day a semblance of structure. Have you tried something similar?
Not really, I have just kept a low profile. I didn't want to talk much about training or post many pictures. I felt like right now, the country is going through a really hard time and I just choose not to. I just want to do my own thing quietly.
How have you been training? Do you have some equipment at home?
Yes, the aim is to train 5-6 times a week. It also depends on how my body is feeling. There are days when I don't feel like training or felt a bit jaded because you have anxiety as you are not really sure of what's happening... I'm kind of taking it day by day. For the most part, I make sure I train so that I can be in some decent form in terms of fitness when things resume.
Athletes have complained of a lack of motivation because of uncertainty. Have you also felt the same?
I have definitely felt a lack of motivation to train, but just because the discipline is there to get the work done I have trained. The motivation (to train) isn't really there but I end up doing it because I have to but it's very hard for me to say 'okay, let me get up and train'. It literally takes me 2-3 hours to do any form of physical work. I train for an hour every day and there have been 2-3 days in a row when I don't really train and that's because of the anxiety, the uncertainty.
Apart from training, how do you keep yourself occupied? NetFlix, cooking...
Cooking is a joke (laughs)... there is no way I am cooking. I am an athlete and that's all I can do right now. I haven't been watching much of NetFlix and stuff. Like I told you, I wake up pretty late so half the day is already gone, my days are very short. I wake up, I take my mom around for some errands
(grocery shopping for instance)... it's already 4-5 by then. I come back, train for an hour, have dinner and I go to sleep. To be honest, it sounds like a good life. I cannot complain, there is nothing really going on.
Have you been speaking to other members of your fraternity?
To a few that I am close with. They are also in the same situation, they don't know what's happening. Even if things get better, there are a lot of other guidelines with respect to travel, quarantining in countries you travel to and so on. Right now, everyone is in survival mode. The thing is you can get overwhelmed when you start thinking about what's going to happen. Are you going to have a career soon enough? We are all on the same boat, nobody knows when and where the tour will resume. Anyway, for the next two months, we are out of the picture as the tour is suspended till the end of July.
Do you think there is going to be an element of risk in travelling and playing till there is a vaccine in mass production?
I think that's a risk that we are going to have to be prepared for the next one year at least. I think all of us have been starved of doing what we love... I just would love to play squash again as a sport, that's why I started playing the sport as a nine-year-old. You just want to go back to the court and not think of travelling or touring or competing. But I do believe that right now our safety and other people's safety should come first.
Have you contemplated going back to stadia yet?
I haven't really thought about it in the sense that I do understand that there are a lot of guidelines to be followed. I think SAI has released a bunch of lists with respect to dos and don'ts but the thing is that squash is such a contact sport and the place that we train here at Chennai... we don't live in the complex. All of us come from places that potentially could be in contact with the virus. Once the rules are set into place, we can think about going back. I don't believe it's safe to go back to playing immediately.
Do you think squash is at a disadvantage as it doesn't lend itself automatically to physical distancing?
Nobody thought this was going to happen. This is not something you think of when you start playing a sport. Of course, there are other sports that have more distance, like tennis for example. Squash isn't like that but is it a disadvantage? I think it's just unfortunate and it is what it is. As far as I'm concerned, squash is not at a disadvantage in any way. It might just take some time to come back and that's okay.
Could there be a level of paranoia when you come back? Like when you step on to the court, would you think, 'hang on, she could be a potential vector'?
Wow, you are asking me questions I haven't even thought about. Right now, I'm just thinking about how to be on a squash court and not really thinking of competing with anyone or stuff like that. When the time comes to compete and stuff like that, I'm sure things will be in a much better situation. As an athlete, you are just going to want to be able to play and do well for yourself. As far as someone having the virus or not having it is concerned, things are not going to go back to normal immediately. Everyone is going to live and operate in a very different way, especially with the sport.
You mentioned that you wanted to go back to playing because you love it and not because it's an occupation. Can you elaborate?
For sure. I love what I do and that's my biggest motivation as well. But when you are competing back to back, you sometimes feel like you can lose that bit of passion you had when you first started getting on the court. You kind of take it for granted, you can go and play any time you want, you can train any time
you want... things like that. But when something you love has been taken away, you just really appreciate what you had before. For the next few months, it would be really lovely to play squash. But when the training intensity increases and there is competition, you tend to get into a different zone altogether.