THIRUVANANTHAPURAM: Despite high academic achievements and financial independence, women in Kerala find it challenging to implement Chief Minister Pinarayi Vijayan’s suggestion to respond with a firm ‘poda’ (get lost) to suitors demanding dowry. Recent deaths among educated middle-class women following dowry demands raise alarming concerns about a potential trend.
The death of Dr A J Shahna who was unable to cope with the rejection, raises questions about the role of education and the resilience to deal with the challenges. It puzzled many because she was an accomplished woman with a bright future after completing her MBBS and taking up a male-dominated field such as surgery for her post-graduation. However, mental health experts and social activists are not surprised by the situation where bright women and men succumb to challenges in life.
“Shahna is just a symbol or a representative of the youth who lacks the resilience to deal with adversity. Her suicide should not be seen as that person’s weakness. It is the index of the weakness of the system that brings up the youngsters without necessary life skills,” said Dr C J John, senior psychiatrist at Medical Trust Hospital and a member of the State Mental Health Authority.
Dr E A Ruwise, who is accused of backing off from the marriage for dowry, is also a representative of the problems faced by youths, he said. “A person who doesn’t want to comply with evil practices become a helpless victim if the social order is like that,” he said.
The experts are worried that the families often do not oppose dowry outright, but only recognise it as a problem when the demands become unaffordable.
Anishia Jayadev, president of Centre for Film Gender and Culture Studies emphasised the importance of early grooming to tackle the challenges. “When we live in a world where the women have no avenues to address the concerns, such incidents are inevitable,” she said.