KOCHI: They were in a relationship for years and even managed to overcome opposition from their families before finally getting married. But within a month, they decided to separate. This is the story of a couple -- the woman belonging to Kozhikode and the man from Thrissur -- who studied engineering together in college.
His academic brilliance attracted her and what began as a friendship eventually blossomed into a marital relationship. Being a lone child, he was used to listening only to his mother. The woman, however, was quite possessive and small disagreements soon turned into arguments. Now over 27, they are living separately.
Theirs is a pointer to a stark reality: divorce cases have been on the rise in Kerala for the past several years. According to an RTI reply obtained by TNIE from the Kerala High Court, 30,781 divorce petitions were filed in 2022. In 2023, the number rose to 33,535, while in 2024 the figure stood at 30,647.
As of June 2025, as many as 9,199 cases have already been filed. And as of June 30, the number of divorce cases pending in family courts across the state is 38,067. Of that, the Thiruvananthapuram family court tops the list with 3,307 cases, followed by the Vadakara family court (2,322) and the Attingal family court (2,241).
Experts note that nowadays even minor issues can escalate into major problems between couples. At the same time, some argue that it is better to walk away from a life filled with constant conflict. The increasing number of cases, they say, is also evidence that women’s right to self-determination is being recognised.
Advocate Shaniba Ali of Kerala High Court says, “Over the years, we have focused on educating women to be independent but we forgot to educate men on how to live with an independent woman. Men remain dependent in many ways, largely because of their mothers and the family system. At the same time, women today are clear and confident about their equal status and capacity within a household. Only those who can find balance will thrive. It’s a challenge. But we can’t place all the blame on men—this is an era of change, and many divorces are collateral damage.”
Ancy Philip T, who served as a principal counsellor in several family courts, says in most modern divorce cases it is usually women who take the initiative. “Their view is: ‘Why suffer in a painful marriage when I can live independently with my job?’ This may make it seem like women are the problem, but when you understand the depth of their suffering, their decision feels justified. For example, a Kerala woman working in the UK married a man she met there. Within two months, she found he was a drug addict. She married seeking companionship but ended up hopeless; in counselling she even said, ‘If I’m forced to continue, I’ll die by suicide’.”
She cites another case, of a woman who married one of two twin brothers. “Later, her husband insisted that his twin and family must live with them, backed by his parents. Unable to accept this, she chose separation,” Ancy points out.
Some women, though, do not pursue legal divorce but live separately, the counsellor says. “One single mother told me she avoids court due to the stress and stigma, choosing instead to quietly live apart. Today’s young women make such decisions after much thought, and increasingly, parents support them—especially as families are smaller, with one or two children. Parents feel there’s no reason for their son or daughter to suffer endlessly,” Ancy adds.