Having a child is a matter of complete joy but it should be a decision taken by the couple involved. Any outside pressure on a couple to have a child can have disastrous results. So much so that in many cases, it even leads to mental health issues, especially among women.
More and more young working, married women are facing issues like role conflict, job strain, mental fatigue, stress, depression, phobias and other social and emotional distresses. Despite this women choose to remain quiet about their problems, they do not seek the help from a psychiatrist/psychologist due to the social stigma attached to psychological counselling.
“No doubt, having a kid is a pleasurable experience but an increasing number of women, including newly-weds, are reporting mental health issues such as stress, depression, anxiety, etc. owing to the pressure from family and society to have children,” says Dr Sadhna Sharma, Senior Consultant, Gynaecology & Obstetrics, Apollo Cradle Hospital & Miracles Mediclinic, Gurugram.
Dr Sharma informs that in the last one year, the hospital has received a number of cases with women showing signs of lack of mental well-being, most of which are caused by a worry of capability to have a child at an advanced age, and to balance work and life after having one.
According to mental health expert Dr Prakriti Poddar, Director, Poddar Wellness Ltd, it is not women alone but their male counterparts as well who face such stress, though their numbers can be low.
“This sort of stress can be very counterproductive to creating an environment conducive to childbearing. In fact, it is actually counterproductive to a healthy marriage as well,” she says, adding that pressure and stress can cause a great amount of psychologically-induced infertility.
God forbid if a couple decides to not have children. Despite all modernity, a childless woman is frowned upon by society.
“A married woman without a child is still a taboo. But as women are donning multiple hats of being homemakers and calling the shots at workplace, they often don’t want an additional responsibility of motherhood,” says Dr Sandeep Chaddha, Consultant Obstetrician & Gynaecologist, Motherhood Hospital, Noida. “In such a scenario, the pressure from friends and relatives to expand the family causes stress leading to serious mental issues, including depression,” he adds.
Experts suggest the best way to cope with pressure is to know yourself and to have a solid understanding of what you want to do with your life. And seek help in case you feel too burdened by the societal expectations. Having a child is strictly a personal choice, and should remain one, they say. “It’s important for a couple to have an open conversation about their shared struggles. That, along with plugging into support groups, can help ease the mental and emotional toll from infertility,” says Dr Poddar.
Agrees Dr Amoolya Seth, Consultant Physiatrist, Columbia Asia Hospital, Ghaziabad. “A couple should first prioritise whether they want to focus on their career or have a baby and after the decision is taken, they should be strong enough to deal with the family pressure over it,” he opines. Dr Sharma advises women not to feel pressured due to not having kids, and handle the situation as they please.