CHENNAI: Life between 13 and 19 years of age can be tricky and challenging to traverse. Though this is often considered as a golden period in a human’s life, it is also the time where one is exposed to several overwhelming experiences that are both external and internal.
Several pieces of research and surveys have also projected that the rate of depression, self-harm, and anxiety spike during this time. Venting their views about stress in adolescence, Chennai-based teens talk to CE about how they cope with hormonal changes, puberty, societal and parental pressure.
Vineetha Samuel, 16
I have working parents and that has been the most difficult to cope with. I cannot say I am overweight, but my weight does not match up to the expectations of society. Not even a day passes by, at school, without getting bullied for the pimples on my face and extra flab on my hip. I return home from school to a locked door and an extra key in my pocket, I heat food in the oven and then cry amid four walls.
All I seek is validation from my parents that there is nothing wrong with me and that I am like any other adolescent.
My teachers have told me this, but it would have been a little comforting if somebody from home gave me the warmth. Being a single child, a family is what I have always yearned for. Especially now, in my teens when I don’t have an understanding of mental and physical changes.
Also, another issue is that I don’t get as much pocket money as some of my friends, so I cannot spend on trendy knick-knacks or go to cafes with them.
Vishwesh Sunder, 16
I have never seen any boy in my school cry for anything. Because of that, I am expected to not cry. There is immense pressure to drink alcohol or smoke. There are occasional night stays and only people who drink are allowed to attend those parties because others are ‘not very cool’.
Once you begin, you cannot stop...it is scary because after a point there will be no money to spend. Most teens know it is wrong, but sometimes it is hard to control.
Also, there is so much pressure to ask a girl out. Only if you can woo girls, you can become popular. It is difficult to open up to parents about the struggles we are facing. A few of my friends too agreed on this. So, the biggest pressure I face is to behave according to society’s norms laid out for boys.
Vanitha Rajesh, 15
I met with an accident when I was 10 years old. I permanently injured my spine and have been using a wheelchair ever since. My school, one of the famous schools in Chennai, does not have a ramp. To enter the auditorium or even my classroom, I have to be lifted by two people...it is humiliating.
In all my photos, I am sitting on a wheelchair and I feel even a handful of likes and comments that I get on social media are due to pity. I try clicking pictures only of my face so that the wheelchair is not seen. Yet somehow, I cannot be a part of the conversations in school about the most popular or beautiful girl.
I feel I am missing the prime and fun part of my teenage. People at school too have not been helpful. Also, I cannot sense anything when I am menstruating because of the accident. So, I mostly skip school when I am on my periods...I am afraid of what people might say.
Usha P, 15
I was always good at sports — badminton, throwball, basketball — anything you name, I used to play it. Everything was fine until I turned 14. People started calling me a tomboy, they made fun of my physique and ‘manly’ behaviour. I still don’t understand what changed within a few years...being good at sports has become a reason for all the humiliation now.
I bought make-up, gradually reduced playing any sport and I tried wearing ‘girly’ clothes. I still don’t look like the doll-faced girls in my class and boys don’t prefer girls like me, my friends often say. I want to be appreciated again. The only people who laud me are my parents.
That does not count because I want my peers from my school to like me, to send friend requests and the boys to give chocolates occasionally. I want to be accepted like all the popular girls in school.