'Piranha 3DD' (English)

An overdose of the terrible.

Published: 18th June 2012 03:09 PM  |   Last Updated: 18th June 2012 03:09 PM   |  A+A-

"Piranha 3DD" (English)

Director: John Gulager

Cast: Danielle Panabaker, David Hasselhoff, Matt Bush

There are good films and there are bad films. There are bad films and then there are terrible films. And beyond the abyss of the terrible, there's "Piranha 3DD".

The piranhas that infested Lake Victoria in the first part of the film, now find their way into a newly opened theme park on its opening day. As celebrity lifeguard David Hasselhoff watches from his watchtower, people are ripped apart with no one to stop these preying prehistoric predator piranhas.

"Piranha 3DD" is a film that is an overdose of everything that can be wrong with a film. There's no semblance of a plot, sub-plots, characterisation or even building up of tension that can be relieved later.

It is but a collection not just of cliches, but ones so old and retarded that even the most cliched films in the market don't use them. Can you, for example, remember the last time you saw a man running with a box of cash, the overflowing cash spilling all around?

The original piranha in the 1970s was a B-grade film. The one that came two years back stayed true to this 'B' grade attitude. But with this one obviously the makers got ambitious, aiming not just for a C-grade film, but further beyond into a D-grade film. A D-grade film with a double D!

3D was invented for films like this. Errors that you'd have easily missed with 2D end up slapping smack in your face with 3D.

There was an element of something interesting creeping up with this one. For a while it brimmed with the promise of piranhas breeding inside the belly of a woman just like in the Alien franchise. That would have been cheesy, but fun. Instead you have something that is much more unconceivable right in the last shot of the film - walking piranha.

It is thus a tomb stone of cliches fossilised for ages brought to life just like the prehistoric piranhas. The greatest mystery of the film is not where the piranha came from, but why was the film made? Where did they get the money? And how did the piranhas travel so many thousands of miles to reach theatres in India.

One of the meaning of 'DD' is 'dishonourable discharge' and that is exactly what you should give this film.
 


Comments

Disclaimer : We respect your thoughts and views! But we need to be judicious while moderating your comments. All the comments will be moderated by the newindianexpress.com editorial. Abstain from posting comments that are obscene, defamatory or inflammatory, and do not indulge in personal attacks. Try to avoid outside hyperlinks inside the comment. Help us delete comments that do not follow these guidelines.

The views expressed in comments published on newindianexpress.com are those of the comment writers alone. They do not represent the views or opinions of newindianexpress.com or its staff, nor do they represent the views or opinions of The New Indian Express Group, or any entity of, or affiliated with, The New Indian Express Group. newindianexpress.com reserves the right to take any or all comments down at any time.

flipboard facebook twitter whatsapp