'Warning' movie review: Statuary warning; stay off

Published: 29th September 2013 11:32 AM  |   Last Updated: 29th September 2013 12:51 PM   |  A+A-

Sumit-Suri

First of all, if you’re going to plagiarise a Hollywood film, it’s a good idea to at least find one that did well in theatres. The makers of Warning, instead of lifting Adrift almost scene-by-scene, would have done better to copy its prequel-of-sorts, Open Water.

This movie combines the Bollywood reunion cliché with the Hollywood danger movie atmosphere. When a gang of former school friends get together, you know that, Bollywood style, old battles will be re-enacted and some of them will probably throw each other overboard. When a group of people is going to shark-infested waters, Hollywood style, you know that either all of them will die, or only one or two will survive.

So, for some reason, all these people decide to get on a boat and go to Fiji on vacation. As in Adrift, the guy who says he owns the yacht turns out to be the biggest pretender of the lot. But you’ll know this anyway when his bikini babe (Suzana Rodrigues) shows up wearing almost nothing.

The characters are all stereotypes. Yacht-owner-guy; fat nice guy; rich brat; seductress; MILF. And seeing how bitter they feel about each other, I don’t know why they all decide to take a trip like this. I also don’t see why someone brought a baby along, and someone else decided to bring a dog on board.

The stupidity of these characters becomes obvious when they all jump overboard, forgetting to lower the ladder, which is their only way back into the yacht. And they leave the baby up there too. And then, maybe influenced by all those old movies where animals do genius things and rescue their owners, they turn to the dog for help. Zzzz.

The 3D factor doesn’t add anything to the film, except for some thrills at the start. There is so much scope for it to be used well in the second half, but it’s done so tackily that you wish it had been a regular film. At least your nose wouldn’t have ached. It’s bad enough that your brains are being fried. The film is illogical to the extent I thought the dog would end up sending an SOS signal in Morse Code. For most of the movie, I was wondering how these people can tread water and quarrel about long-forgotten things, as if they were on holiday instead of in mortal danger. The only positive thing about the film is some decent underwater camera work. But that’s hardly a good reason to put yourself through two hours of a movie like this.

The Verdict: In the end, I found myself feeling jealous of the dog, who swims away for most of the film and isn’t forced to watch the characters’ antics like I was.


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