
At first glance Nilanjana Bhowmick’s book, Lies Our Mother Told Us, may well remind you of the celebrated American text, The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan. The resemblance, however, ends at women. Bhowmick’s text deals specifically with the problems ailing the Indian woman across class, caste and even age, and, in parts, it is bound to make the Indian man sit up too and take notice.
Every chapter in the book deals with one key issue taking centre stage, backed up with statistical data. Some of these issues range from menstrual hygiene to child marriage, the superwoman syndrome, and recognising and explaining the absence of women in public spaces. The list goes on. Bhowmick writes, “We live in a society where capitalism intertwines with patriarchy to deepen gender inequalities”, and the book goes on to expound the claim in various chapters.
Sincerity of research comes through in Bhowmick’s prose. Using personal anecdotes to complement data adds authenticity to the book, and makes the narrative relatable. Although the writing may seem haphazard in parts with the same points being reemphasised, the wide-ranging topics covered make this book a timely read for both Indian men and women.
The failure of the government to look after its women is reiterated through chapters. The author argues that despite the implementation of policies such as ‘Beti Bachao Beti Padhao’, such schemes have yielded little result on the ground. She writes, “Women’s development rests on education, employment, entrepreneurship and political participation and, as a country, we have failed to tick every one of those boxes.”
An interesting point made by Bhowmick in one of the later chapters is how Indian women have taken actively to Gleeden, an app that middle-aged married women have been increasingly found to have signed up for. This development, she says, shows that more and more women are now becoming aware of what they want from a partner and the relationship as a whole, and are not afraid to explore newer avenues. To make a case for her argument, the author connects it with the representation of Goddess Kali in the Hindu mythology, who, in spite of possessing a terrifying iconography, could, “teach Indian women a thing or two about having fun. Kali is a badass goddess who embodies sexual energy and destruction”.
She concludes that the Gleeden model shows how Indian women have changed their thoughts about the institution of marriage, which is radical in its way and might change the course for future generations of Indian women. Perhaps, this book can get the ball rolling.
By: NilanjanaBhowmick
Publisher:Aleph
Pages: 259
Price: Rs 699