A recent court-ordered divorce has shed light on the tumultuous marital life of a woman trapped in a relationship with a man afflicted with ideas of infidelity.
The case sheds light on Othello Syndrome, a condition characterised by an irrational and excessive preoccupation with an imagined infidelity. The naming of the clinical condition is inspired by Shakespeare’s iconic character, Othello.
In Sreenivasan’s Malayalam movie Vadakkunokkiyantram, this phenomenon is exemplified by fictional character Thalathil Dineshan, who embodies the feelings of inferiority in a marital relationship. Poor fellow was a prisoner of insecurities created by his short stature and dark complexion.
Thalathil Dineshan’s suspicions drove him to doubt his wife’s fidelity, tormenting himself and her with false thoughts of her possible relationships with more attractive men. Similarly, Othello’s transient delusional thoughts led him to kill his beloved wife, Desdemona, fueled by unfounded doubts.
Living in wedlock or a romantic relationship with a ‘Thalathil Dineshan’ can be a harrowing experience for a woman. There are different shades to this condition, ranging from obsessive thoughts to delusional beliefs.
Obsessiveness
Some are afraid of losing their partner and harbour fears that the partner will be unfaithful. Despite knowing she is loyal, the person may have repetitive thoughts of betrayal and compulsively seek reassurance from the partner.
Here, he knows that it’s a problem of the mind, and may seek professional help.
The delusional
The difficult ones are those harbouring a firm, unshakeable belief that the partner is cheating, even when presented with evidence to the contrary.
The person may take their wife to professionals and request them to hypnotise her to extract the truth. He may demand a confession and will promise to forgive if she confesses. Unaware of the trap, the woman may do this, hoping that this will pacify him. Sadly, she lands in more trouble. He may then want the finer details of her sexual contacts!
He may try to excessively monitor the partner’s phone and may even use apps to track her. There are instances when the person had checked the undergarments for body fluids of the wife’s lover. Even a normal tiredness may be misinterpreted as tiredness after a sexual contact. Like the character, Thalathil Dineshan, he may monitor the activities of his partner at home without her knowledge.
Some may indulge in excessive sexual activity to prevent their wife from going with other men. Some such individuals may have vacillating attitudes of fanatic love and hatred due to suspicion. In some cases, conflicts can escalate to emotional abuse or even physical violence. Chronic alcohol abuse has also been associated with the development of this disorder.
Treatment
Individuals with this disorder typically exhibit aberrations in thought exclusively focused on fidelity, making it challenging to provide concrete evidence for or against their suspicions. Clinical judgment often relies on collateral information from others about the wife’s behaviour and the husband’s vague, circumstantial narratives. As these individuals usually function normally in other areas, their condition may be interpreted as just a marital trust issue.
Neurobiological factors also contribute to this disorder. However, the probability of a psychiatric disorder is strongly resisted. It is important to motivate them for treatment that includes medications and psychological therapies. Marital life will be a lot more comfortable if they take treatment.
Warning signs
Intolerance when the partner interacts with other men
Interpreting innocent actions as proof of infidelity
Accusations of giving too much attention to other men
Frequently checking partner’s phone and activities
Monitoring and controlling behaviour
Frequently seeking validation.
Intense emotions and possessiveness
Escalations of conflicts to verbal and physical abuse
Tendency for quarrels with suspected lovers
Creating false stories of infidelity
What the law can do?
Even in severe situations, many women do not contemplate divorce. Instead, they will pursue patching up a relationship that will never work. In most cases, helpless women suffer as they somehow try to hold on to the social script of the institution of marriage.
The allegations of infidelity may surface in domestic violence cases or divorce proceedings. Legal and law enforcement systems can initiate mental health evaluations of couples to ascertain the presence of a psychiatric disorder. If confirmed, gentle coercion for treatment may work.
In appropriate situations, supported admissions even against the will, as per the Mental Healthcare Act, 2017, may be considered.
When all options fail, separation may be the only viable option.
When it’s the woman
Both men and women can fall prey to this pathological thought aberration, with men having twice the prevalence.
Getting a delusional disorder treated in a woman is easier in our culture than it is for a man, who has several advantages in the male-dominated society to reject treatment and scrutiny.