There are, no doubt, several things about the world that each of us would like to change. It would be great if the world were less rude, egocentric, greedy, dishonest, manipulative, arrogant, judgmental, and vindictive. It is easy for us to recognise these negative traits in others, but difficult to see them in our own selves. Thus it might appear to us that the responsibility for improvement lies solely on others and not on us. We sometimes make our change contingent on others making that change first. I’ll be more polite if everyone is more polite. I’ll stop honking if other drivers stop honking. If most of us feel this way, it is no wonder that the world continues to be the way it is.
Mahatma Gandhi once said some words that are paraphrased as, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” This tells us two things—first, the onus of change is on us not on others, and second, if at all we hope to inspire others to change, it can be through our actions, not our words. Gandhiji was an ardent reader of the Bhagavad Gita and perhaps he got the thought from the following shloka in Chapter 3:
Yadyadaacharati shreshthastattadevetaro janaha | Sa yatpramaanam kurute lokastadanuvartate || (Whatever an ideal person does, so do other people. Whatever standard he sets, other people follow.)
This is part of the philosophy of Karma yoga—right action, propounded in the Gita. Here, Sri Krishna is basically telling Arjuna that actions speak louder than words. People always pay more attention to what we do than to what we say. If a parent smokes, do they stand a chance of convincing their children not to smoke, no matter how often they repeat their advice? Ancient Hindu philosophy maintains that we can only teach people by our aachaar—behaviour. A real acharyam (teacher) is one who teaches by his aachaar.
One of the lesser-known but beautiful singles by Michael Jackson called ‘Man in the Mirror’ has the following lyrics: ‘I’m starting with the man in the mirror, I’m asking him to change his ways. And no message could have been any clearer, If you want to make the world a better place. Take a look at yourself, and then make a change.’
People tend to mimic the behaviour in social interactions. If one person in a conversation is talking aggressively, others soon become aggressive. If one person is talking gently, then the others tend to take a gentle tone too. Whether one person in a group acts foolishly or wisely, others tend to behave similarly. So the best way to bring a change is to be the change.