Are you happy? Of course, you are. But only sometimes. Suppose you eat chocolate with the wrapper.
You enjoy the chocolate, but periodically have to spit out the foil. Similarly, our happiness is intercepted by bouts of sorrow. Wouldn’t it be great if we could be happy without the pain?
Where is happiness? You believe it’s out there in the world. You take a non-stop flight from Mumbai to New York and exit the terminal building. A fellow passenger lights up a cigarette. He is happy. But a non-smoker walks away. The same object gives pleasure to one person and intense displeasure to another. So, is happiness in the object?
As long as the desire for the cigarette was unfulfilled, the mind was agitated and unhappy. The moment it was fulfilled, the agitation ceased. So, is happiness in the mind and not in the object? Are we chasing a mirage when the oasis is elsewhere?
Where do you look for happiness? You seek fulfilment through four avenues. Sense contact, action, relationships and intellectual pursuit.
Let’s begin with sense. When you eat the first mango of the season, it is sheer bliss, right?
As you keep eating the fruit, the enjoyment diminishes. The more you indulge, the less you enjoy.
What’s the way out?
Then, action. What are you working for? Pay cheque and profit? Watch the thousands
of people going to work on a Monday morning. Does anyone look excited? Neeraj Chopra also works.
He is ecstatic when he participates in a competition. What’s the difference?
Third, relationships. Have you seen couples sitting in the hot midday sun at Marine Drive in Mumbai? They do not feel the discomfort because they are in love. Emotional thrills are so fulfilling that physical inconveniences don’t bother you. But, the days of wine and roses soon become days of whine and neurosis. Do you have conflicts with your loved ones? You think your partner is at fault, but is he really to blame?
Next, intellectual delights.
A young girl wanting a PhD at Harvard leaves the luxuries of her home and moves away from family and friends. The physical and emotional pain is insignificant compared to the joy of a doctorate. But, is that enough? You always want more. So where does satisfaction lie? Is there a prescription for happiness? The Bhagavad Gita gives the formula:
Happiness = Number of desires fulfilled / number of desires harboured
Using this, how can you enhance your happiness? Either increase the numerator or reduce the denominator. What are we all doing? Fulfilling desires, but has happiness increased? Not necessarily. Why?
Let’s say you need a pair of walking shoes. As you enter the mall, someone offers you a perfume to sample. You then see a beautiful watch. And the latest smartphone. Finally, you buy the shoes. What have you done? Fulfilling one desire, the numerator has gone up by one. But without you knowing it, the denominator has gone up by three—perfume, watch, smartphone. Happiness has shrunk. This is one experience. You can imagine what happens in an entire lifetime. You want happiness, but only succeed in increasing your desires.
So shift focus to the denominator. As you bring down the desires, your happiness increases exponentially. And when the desires come down to zero, you get infinite happiness. Thereafter, anything added or taken away makes no difference. Because infinite plus or minus anything is still infinite. Nothing in the world impacts your happiness. But the world is agog with objects and you are enticed to want more, buy more. Do you succumb and sink in the quicksand of desire or opt for happiness?
How do you reduce desires? You cannot give it up; you can only take up a higher desire. As a child, you were obsessed with toys. Do you hanker for them now? Did you, at any stage, decide to give up your desire for toys? How did they go? You grew to more exciting stuff.
What is the cause of desire? When do you feel hungry? When your stomach is empty. If you have just eaten, you will not think of food. So, desire comes from emptiness. Thoughts arise in your mind that want things to fill that emptiness. Despite fulfilling many desires, the emptiness does not go away. Because it is not real. Even as you experience a void you are full, totally full. You don’t know it. When you don’t know you are full, you become a fool.
So you do not need objects from the world. You only need knowledge of your fullness. When a child gets separated from his wealthy parents and grows up as a beggar, he does not need more alms. He only needs to know he is a millionaire. Then his life changes dramatically.
We are not just millionaires, we are ‘infinitaires’. Ignorant of our real worth, we go out as beggars, asking for paltry, petty things. Gain knowledge and your life will transform.
Where do you begin? Upgrade your desires. For how long will you remain in the kindergarten of life, oblivious of higher joys? Pick an emotional desire, your happiness multiplies. When any member of the family does well, you rejoice. Connect with the country and you celebrate the achievement of all Indians. Your happiness increases 1.4 billion times. Identify with spirit and you obtain infinite bliss.
Talks on Pursuing Excellence–Bhagavad Gita Chapter 2 by Jaya Row will be held on Oct 4-7, 6:30-8 pm at Kamani Auditorium, Delhi. For more details, visit tiny.cc/del4