I loved a movie that I watched recently on the HBO channel. Two unhappy people driven by family situations meet in a certain place in a coastal town. They get attracted to each other while facing their respective difficulties. Mary is unhappy with her husband and on the verge of seeking a divorce. The other character, Dr Henry, is unhappy that despite being a renowned surgeon, he failed in his profession. Both of them accidentally meet, carrying their past into the present.
Both Mary and Henry help each other to get out of their past in their own way. Mary counsels Henry to be compassionate towards the husband of the patient who dies and feel his pain rather than justify how he was not responsible for it. He sees newness in Mary’s perception of the incident and feels better. Henry, in turn, makes way for Mary to realise that she is a good mother. He makes her learn “to let go” rather than be doomed in worry.
Their love for each other deepens. They decide to get married. Mary gets her divorce and is happy to share the news with Henry. Her daughter, though unhappy with the thought of her mother’s divorce, was struggling to understand Mary’s transformation of emotions into happiness. The movie takes a turn here and Henry dies in an accident.
The daughter, who saw her mother jubilant after divorce, finds her unhappy the next day. She intuits her mother was in love and something may have happened for this reversal of emotions. She cajoles and requests Mary to unburden her pain even though she is just in her teens.
Mary tells her daughter about her love for Henry and shares the circumstances in which he died. Mary says, “You have experienced the love of both your father and mother. But there is another dimension of love which makes the best in one to come forth. It just does not stop and settle down for anything else. The few days I spent with Dr Henry brought the best out of me, taking us to new horizons of understanding, caring and helping each other. Such uplifting love is what you deserve, my child. So don’t settle for anything less,” she advises her daughter.
Let us understand that one is unhappy not because of an incident, but due to their perception of the incident. There are differences between Mary and her husband. Differences are not co nflicts. If treated as one, they will create pain. When things don’t work between two individuals, one has to learn the art of “let go” and “let in” the new. Our religious, social and cultural conditioning decide so often as to what is right or wrong. Deep sensitivity is needed to understand that. It is not a function of ideals, but the poetry of sensitivity. Sensitivity is a function of intelligence, which helps to understand that things are not working and to explore something different. Love is sensitivity, and right and wrong must be functions of sensitivity.
Swami Sukhabodhananda is an international management spiritual & corporate guru
Differences, when treated as conflict, will create pain. Deep sensitivity is needed to understand what is right and wrong. It is not a function of ideals, but the poetry of sensitivity.