Don’t mistake the map for the territory
It is easy to locate our small, remote village on a map and then move a pencil to Los Angeles, where we dream to be. This simple act provides a momentary “high” that may not let us realise - at that instant - that we are still where we were before moving the pencil.
When we spend hours discussing scriptures and spiritual insights, we may not realise that we are merely moving the pencil on the map. Our confidence in articulating morally superior ideas can deceive us into believing we have “arrived” when we might not have even begun.
Unbeknownst to us, this comforting illusion bleeds out motivation and energy from our ambition to undertake the actual journey. Many get addicted to and squander most of their lives, discussing the journey they were supposed to embark on.
Kaveri, a colleague, was one such addict. She incessantly discussed yogis who could leave their bodies to travel to distant planets or what happens after death. Although she perceived herself as spiritually evolved, her behaviour suggested otherwise. She was arrogant, irresponsible, undisciplined and unethical.
Unsurprisingly, her life was chaotic: her husband divorced her due to her short temper, her son felt unloved and got into drugs, her boss deemed her untrustworthy, and she was on heavy medications.
Unpleasant events can happen to anyone. They can be opportunities to reflect, learn, and grow or consequences of neglecting responsibilities. Kaveri's case exemplified the latter.
Authentic spirituality encompasses living our vision and values, pursuing and adhering to truth, managing destructive emotions, eschewing relative superiority, and practising empathy, equanimity, gratitude and focus. It involves developing empowering habits, solving problems, caring for others and shouldering responsibilities. However, Kaveri employed these discussions as an escape from all these.
Kaveri’s illusion of being pious and sacred was unassailable. She had discovered phrases to fend off anyone who might attempt to hold up a mirror to her: “Even Jesus endured suffering” or “My only true relationship is with God; all others are false.” Since there were no criteria to evaluate her relationship with God and no one to hold her accountable, she was free to nurture self-delusions of spiritual grandeur.
It feels good to believe we have a halo around our heads, but if others do not see this spirituality reflected in our actions, we ought to reassess our sense of greatness, which may be a self-serving illusion. However, this self-assessment is brutal, as our cognitive intelligence resists change and clings to comforting illusions.
Observing Kaveri’s life in my early thirties with deep empathy was a blessing. It awakened me before I could become like her. It urged me to use her life as a mirror to reflect on mine, and I continue to do so.
We can begin our spiritual journey only from where we are, not from a preferred illusion.
This journey is not about gaining fame, followers, labels or ego-boosting achievements.
Instead, it focuses on uncovering our true selves by peeling away the “onion-like” layers that don’t represent our true selves.
As we doubt, question and challenge our illusion of being spiritual, we become increasingly aware of our spiritual slumber. This awareness of our shadow self carries seeds of transformation. For example, recognising arrogance nurtures humility and acknowledging unkindness fosters kindness. In contrast, holding on to the illusion that we are pursuing a spiritual life allows our unconscious mind to find the perfect opportunity to indulge in the forbidden; it knows we are looking elsewhere.
Nurturing the illusion of spiritual superiority is a slippery slope, blurring our ability to recognise the extent of suffering we may inflict upon ourselves and others in the shadow of the light we think we are progressing towards.
Narcissistic tyrants and terrorists often share these traits: a conviction in the superiority of their beliefs and a sense of being the chosen one. They feign omniscience and infallibility, refusing to admit mistakes or consider alternatives.
One vital aspect of authentic spirituality is not to do to others what we wouldn’t like to be done to ourselves. For example, if you aren’t prepared to get killed so that others could eat you, consider examining, rather than justifying, your habit of eating meat.
A thought of a fresh, nutritious apple remains just that - a thought! Likewise, discussing lofty spiritual theories doesn’t change our reality. Stemming from unconscious habits, our responses often defy our knowledge, ideals or professed values. Therefore, spiritual ideas and ideals are worthless unless we turn them into unconscious habits through practice.
Change comes not from knowing but from recognising the gaps between what we know and what we do while working to bridge these through self-observation. It gets precipitated when our current situation’s pain outweighs the change effort’s discomfort.
Sculptors step back repeatedly to gain an overview of their work, returning continually to make corrections until the statue closely resembles their vision. Similarly, we are both a work in progress and its sculptor. Our mission is to constantly observe and painstakingly remove all that isn’t our true or spiritual self until we embody our “Buddha” nature.
Anil Bhatnagar is a corporate trainer, spiritual coach, and the author of Success 24 x 7, among several other books. He can be reached at thrive.ab@gmail.com