Effective is being an outer winner and inner winner in life. To win is not to be better than the other, but to drop the agony while excelling in the outer and inner world. One has to manage the inner world of thoughts, feelings and emotions and outer world of achievement, people management and crisis management and reaching one’s goals.
Being effective is managing one’s passion in spite of ups and downs of life. The real enemy in life is not difficult situations, but the mind, which is unwilling to be flexible, resistant to explore and addicted to its own way of doing things. To discipline oneself to genuine achievement is being extremely effective. Lot of people’s achievement is based on glamour or what society is validating. But the challenge is to determine the core of what “you want” and materialise that want in the world. This will bring, effectiveness and excellence, in one’s life.
What is the difficulty in managing to be effective?
More than viewing the issues connected with “managing to be effective” as problems, one has to learn to handle such issues as challenges. The great challenge in trying to be effective is social pressures that one is subjected to.
One is dragged by mass hypnosis. There is self-hypnosis and social hypnosis. Is not respectability a social hypnosis? Please look into it. Hence, we sell our soul for respectability. Just don’t believe because I am saying. The need for conformity has arisen because of the mass hypnosis that respectability is equal to happiness. Due to this, fear is born. One has to conform to social norms or one will be discarded, and the risk of being discarded is painful.
We conform to society because of the need to be accepted and to some extent respected and belonged. We are afraid that we will be discarded, if we do not conform to the society. Please note this clearly. Observe this properly. Don’t intellectualise and defend by saying “it is normal and all that stuff”.
The technique to learn is the ability to observe and not just defend. That is the right direction. The etymological meaning of discipline is learning. Learning should occur by cognition and not just by concepts. Concepts are words and jargons. Cognition happens when you are in touch with “what is” and gain an insight from the” what is”
Getting acceptance from society gives you an illusion of satisfaction and confidence. Can you see what happens to you when the society says, “yes” to you and “accepts” you? Can you see it clearly? If you see it clearly, then you will find nothing has happened. Your fear continues. Your fear that society can refuse to accept you continues to remain. The stress of appeasing the society continues. No quality change happened in oneself. This you should see, and not accept because I have said.
First change your attitude from looking at life as problems to challenges. Then see how social hypnosis of respectability is imprisoning you. See for yourself, don’t believe, and don’t accept because a Guru is saying. You see it. Then you will receive an insight and that insight will destroy your fear. Oh! Dear Fear, you live in my life as a guiding star.