Kerala's first Trans bodybuilder Praveen Nath, who recently took his own life, is a victim of the state's homophobic culture.
The hatred Kerala's society has for the queer community seems to have been amped up in recent times. Known otherwise for its "progressive views", most people in the state remain primitive in their approach towards the LGBTQI community.
There are multiple reports of cyberbullying and physical assaults against members of the community. This surge in homophobia has taken a toll on the LGBTQI people.
"Kerala is both a liberal and homophobic society," says Prijith, a queer activist.
A society of mixed feelings
Prijith elaborated.
"Two men and two women can be friends, they can share rooms, and no one will say anything until they come out as a same-gender couple or till they say they love someone from the same gender," he told The New Indian Express Online.
"Kerala has every quality needed for a cis hetero normative society. Even though we accept Trans persons, our society is still not ready to accept sexual minorities for who they are. Yet, I think Kerala is by far the most friendly, compared to the other states, to the members of the LGBTQI community. I guess maybe it is because the community here is more vigilant and aware about their rights," he added.
Anuradha Krishnan, a dentist, who is part of the LGBTQI community in Kerala, agrees that there is a long way to go, observing "our society still doesn't have that maturity to accept queer community, especially the sexual minorities."
Denial of basic rights
All of this has meant the denial of even the most basic rights for the Trans community. It is hard for them to find houses for rent and jobs.
"Recently, I made a complaint against Kerala PSC for not recruiting Trans persons in the Police and some other departments. Even though the court made a decision in my favour, it is still tough because all the recruitment processes including physical measurements are still following old binary ways," Arjun recounted.
Ahana Mekal, a member of Sahayatrika, an organisation working for the welfare of the LGBTQI community, spoke of how getting certificates that earned them their rights has always proven difficult.
The challenge of coming out
Given all these hurdles, very few people choose to come out in the open in Kerala.
The most important reason still is the way their families respond. They also want to avoid unending criticism and moral policing.
Despite leading the country in literacy, people in Kerala are still not properly educated about gender and sexual minorities. All they have are misconceptions and prejudices.
"I am a queer person myself and for me coming out is something we can't avoid in our life. But, it depends on each person on when they wish to come out. People should come out only after accepting their own identity. They shouldn't be forced," Prijith said.
"It's not easy... coming out. I often see families struggling after coming out. After someone comes out, they have to face their families. And, it is not easy. Most parents are not supportive because they are not even aware of the term 'queer'. They were never educated about this," he said. "But, more people are willing to come out nowadays. I don't know how willing our society is to accept them."
An individual who opted not to reveal their name said they chose not to come out in the open because they are afraid of how their family will react once they reveal their sexuality.
"I came out to some of my friends but not to my parents because I know it will be hard for them to accept it. Coming from a traditional family like mine, acceptance might take some time," they added.
Arjun, a native of Idukki, agreed. "For me, coming out was the same as others. When I first told others, they told me that it is just a phase. But eventually, my family accepted it. I just had to explain everything to them... that this is who I am."
Ahana was luckier -- finding almost instant acceptance. "I think I was privileged in a way because my family accepted me after I came out. My sister was a queer activist at that time. So, people in our family were acquainted with the community. I guess that made it easy," she said .
But for her partner Eric, who is a Trans man, coming out was unpleasant like it has been for many other people in the community.
"The people around us are still the same. When they hear that Eric and I are a queer couple, they behave differently. People are often judgemental," Ahana added.
Faizal Faizi, a Trans rights activist and the founder member of Queer Pride Kerala, echoed her. "Even when people say they accept me, I don't think they really mean it. They are not ready to accept my identity," he stressed.
Homophobia and insensitivity
It doesn't help that some religious and political organisations in Kerala have intensified their campaigns against the LGBTQI community.
In January, KM Shaji, one of the leaders of the Indian Union Muslim League (IUML), made a comment about the community. He said, "The acronym sounds like something important, but in fact, those are uncouth local activities. They are the worst humans."
He also accused the state government of trying to destroy "culture and beliefs".
"There is an increase in activities against the community by some organizations. They are trying to mislead people," he declaimed while speaking at an event.
Prijith underlines that it is not just the IUML. "While some political parties support us, there are parties who openly criticize and hate us. For instance, Muslim League, BJP and RSS have made it very clear where they stand on the issues related to the community. I don't think it's because of their beliefs... I guess they are trying to gratify their vote bank."
Arjun too was criticial of the way some public figures have been openly hostile.
"Some of them mock the queer people in their speeches. Some of their comments are really hurtful," he said. "I also know of organizations, even registered ones like YES Kerala, who make some seriously homophobic comments."
He was quick to strike an optimistic note though. "Lately, we are getting the platform to speak, and that I think is a positive change," he said.
Faizal, one of the founding members of Queer Pride Kerala, finds it ironic how some political parties make homophobic and transphobic comments though they were the ones who made laws to support Trans persons while in power.
He referred to the Transgender Policy, introduced by MK Muneer, when he was a minister, during the former UDF government.
"One of the most important things is that there is a targeted hate campaign going on against the LGBTQI community in Kerala. ‘Mazhavillu sena kayyerunnu’ -- that's what they are saying these days," said Anand C Thankappan.
Homophobic and transphobic comments are something the queer community has to face every day, even from people who are close to them. "I had this experience recently where a person I know made a statement about Pondicherry University giving a fee exemption to Trans persons when applying for PG. He asked if it was necessary to give reservations to Trans persons? They fail to realize that we are a group of people who were marginalised for long. So, we do deserve this," Anand added.
Prijith said that people have a misconception that this is part of Western culture. "It is not true. I have heard people say that these people are trying to imitate the Western people and the things they see from the films and series. But, they need to understand that queer people existed even in ancient times. It is just that we got more visibility recently, that's it."
"I think what Westerners gave us is homophobia," he added.
Touche!