I am in love with a woman and it’s been more than 3 years now. But she wouldn't tell her parents about us and married a man of their choice. We still continue to meet. No one in her or my family knows about it. I asked her to choose, either me or her husband. She says she will decide soon. But recently, she’s started doubting me. She thinks I lie to her and flirt with other women. I don’t understand what to do. Can you help?
All of us have multiple options for any situation and each option has some positive as well as negative factors associated with it. No option is 100 per cent positive or 100 per cent negative. However, some options will have short term benefits e.g. instantaneous gratification and some will have long term benefits eg. academic commitment.
It depends on what the person wants at that point in time.
The girl in question has already chosen her option and at present she wants to be in a situation which is similar to riding two horses at the same time. Needless to say the impossibility of this situation has started to come out in the form of her accusations. Now it is up to you to decide whether you want to depend on her choices/options. Or whether you want to weigh your own short-term and long-term benefits and make your own decision.
The doctor is a Consultant Psychologist and Psychotherapist at Fortis Hospitals