HYDERABAD: She was 21 and he was 26
“I was not ready for marriage though I was completely in love with him. I was too young and wanted to do well in college as well as make a mark in the career front. But, parents on both ends insisted we tie the knot as he was coming to Hyderabad on a posting for three years,” begins Bhargavi. Till then, Vikram was living in the North.
“Probably, they didn’t want us to run around parks, go to cinemas, have one juice with two straws,” she laughs and continues, “Both the parents met and decided to tie us up. I was dead nervous and was just not ready. Though shopping was on the list, I was busy with college and my part-time job. I don’t believe in preparation for the ‘Big day’ stuff. It was just normal life going on, but still hiding my fears of new life,” she recalls.
Etched in the heart
Even for a strong-willed career woman, the most memorable and pious moment is the moment she gets promoted from Miss to Mrs. “Tears rolled down my eyes and everything was a blur when Vikram tried the knot. I still remember I was trying to hide them from the cameras and soon my cousins started to crack jokes. I burst out laughing with flooded eyes. It was a feeling of moving away from Nannagaru, Amma and my little sister. Too filmy and emotional ha!” she laughs.
But that sure is the best moment of her life, she tells us. “He is a very broad minded and a progressive man. He is the reason for me to work in the media. His support is selfless and I guess that’s what I love about him,” she blushes.
Was she anxious?
“Except Vikram, I was nervous about every thing. New family, new environment! What about freedom, life? What about cooking, setting up a home? How about my education? All these questions were hovering around my head,” she sighs.
Bonding over letters and emails
First love, first kiss, first mushy moments are the most special ones. Gayatri first met Vikram through her cousin in Chennai. They would meet up in summer. But that was not it. They also exchanged beautifully handwritten letters, when he was posted miles away.
“Vikram was my cousin’s classmate and friend. We met in Chennai. That’s where my grandparents live. We would go to Chennai every summer vacation. He was in college and I was in school. We were a crazy group. We would exchange emails. Later Vikram joined the Army. He had volunteered to serve for Sachien Glacier. Since they live in bunkers in terrible weather conditions with no transport, phones and only tinned food, handwritten letters that were delivered in helicopters once a month, made them happy. I would write to him almost every week to pep up his spirits. That’s when I got to know each other better,” shares an emotional Bhargavi and gets talking about her respect for the Army.
“They are risking their lives for the sake of our safety. I have a lot of sentiments attached to that time, because it was the time we got to know each other better. Knowing and liking a person through emails is like reading a book and admiring the character. When you meet him in person, that’s an experience by itself. We then met a couple of times in Hyderabad,” she reminisces.
Made for each other
“We are good critics of each other, at the same time we complement each other too. Our undivided love towards our families is our priority. As an army officer’s wife, my responsibility and service towards soldiers’ families is intact. I do my bit as and when required. At the same time his cooperation towards taking care of our little son Akshaj and home when I’m working and when I’m out of station is remarkable. We love to travel, love adventures, movies and books,” she shares.
I didn’t know I was in love...
“He proposed to me and I had stopped talking to him. Much later, when other alliances came by and my parents were asking my view on marriage I thought, I know Vikram well. There was a fear of losing him and for the first time I felt may be it’s love. The fear rang a bell saying its love,” she says hiding, her red cheeks.
Wedded early
Gayatri has a rather broad-minded view on marriage. “Why tie knots when we are liberated by thoughts,” she wonders. “Getting married at a young age was actually an advantage since it was easier to adjust. We made a lot of mistakes and we learnt from them. In fact, we are still learning. The thought of togetherness is itself full filling. When I look into his eyes, I know what he is thinking and vice versa,” she smiles.
Her husband’s line of work requires them to stay apart for long periods of time and Gayathri says that it’s always a scary prospect. “Being away from each other is scary. When the ‘war call’ comes for the soilders to reach the battle field, it’s terrible. I’ve seen him serve at the border for years. He is away from us with hardly any mode of communication. I hate being away from him. That’s terrible,” she says in a choked voice.
The ideal marriage
Everybody has role models and we take inspiration from other individuals in various walks of life. As far as marriage is concerned, Gayathri did not have to look beyond her own family.
“I have seen my parents and grandparents closely. I admire my Ammama and Tatagaru (maternal grandparents). They are so loving. She would cook and he would compliment her. He would buy things for the house and she would decorate it and turn it into a home. If she was sick, he would cook and if he was unwell, she would serve. They would go for movies, chat with each other having a cup of coffee. Those are my fond memories. They are truly made for for each other,” she smiles again.