BENGALURU: With a 15-year long inning of being single under my belt, I’ve been on over a 1,000 dates (yes I have!) – and yet I have never been on a single Valentine’s date. That was one day, I avoided going out with anyone who asked me out - only because I could not handle the drama of people and the marketers sheer misuse of emotions – Valentine’s day specials, red balloons, bouquets and gifts on each table, couples excited by the day itself rather than about each other, it just did not feel right! I went out a lot throughout the year, mostly had a great time. I enjoyed the normal environment around me - neither of us was distracted by the pressure of behaving in a certain way as one does on “Valentine’s day”.
Is the pressure to buy a gift or do something special for your loved ones good for a relationship? What kind of joy comes from the fact that you expect the gifts and the special treatment. And God forbid if your partner does not meet that expectation, is it then worth it to spoil both your moods or have a fight? Of all the days we celebrate (Mothers Day, Fathers Day and Earth Day) I find this the most ridiculous and frankly quite meaningless. Now that I am married - and married people are not liberated from this day by the way - I’m sure I am amongst the lucky few who celebrate Valentine’s day everyday.
Great conversations daily, holding hands in the car or at the table, getting my favourite flowers randomly, me surprising my husband by buying tickets to see a film he has been waiting to see or he Flipkarting a book I’ve been meaning to buy or out of the blue giving the best massage ever - I love the fact that every day has the potential of being Valentine’s day! And to top it all Valentine’s day also comes at a high price. Two days ago I was buying flowers and a lily stalk that usually costs `80 was selling at `150, taken aback I asked the guy how come the rate shot up in a month - he said “around Valentine’s day every year the price goes up and on that day I can ask for the price I want”. (If you are wondering, of course I did not buy the flowers!) So ladies and gentlemen pick any day and many days to be romantic and do something together, there are only upsides to it.
Nothing can beat the element of a pleasant surprise in romance. You can send as many flowers as you want, go out together as much as you want yet not worry about breaking your bank balance. And, if you are like me, the real joy will come with just a great conversation, a lingering smile on both your faces and perhaps holding hands as well, and that does not cost anything at all :).
(The writer is an expert on relationships and co-founder of www.floh.in, a curated network that connects singles in real life.)