In a society like ours, only inter-caste marriages can cause mutation of genes and, thereby, create a new generation of intelligent and knowledgable people. This is already happening in Tamil Nadu,” says a doctor couple from Madurai who broke caste norms 29 years ago to get married.
Kailai Rajan, a professor of Neurosurgery, who was born in a subaltern community, married a Brahmin, K Ravithi, now Chief of Obstetrics and Gynaecology in Madurai Rajaji Hospital, despite strong opposition from the the bride’s family.
Rajan met Ravithi during his college days at the Madurai Medical College in 1975. Her mother was a successful doctor in Palani. “During our college days, students were divided into groups based on their caste, even in the medical college. But I mingled with all caste groups. Ravithi was three years my junior and we first met when she came to clarify doubts in a subject,” recalls the doctor. Though they both liked each other, Rajan was treaded carefully as she belonged to a higher caste. But one night, when he was working in a Mission Hospital in Kerala after completion of his course, Ravithi called him and said that she was not willing to marry the man her parents chose for her. She asked him if he would marry her. He said ‘yes’. There was no looking back.
“Ravithi’s father, a lawyer, began threatening me to keep away from his daughter. For my father-in-law, marrying his daughter to me would bring down his status in his community,” recalls the doctor.
“After getting approval from my widowed mother, I silently booked out marriage ceremony at Lakshmi marriage hall and distributed invitations to all except Ravithi’s family. Marriage happened without any hindrance on April 7, 1983. My wife safely reached my home a day before the marriage and my wife’s mother also indirectly supported the marriage,” he says.
Rajan got a stipend of `300 as a PG student but he got a house for`200 a month. So, Ravithi had to open a clinic in Pudur, which fetched her another `200. Those were struggling times. Today, they own a bungalow in Madurai and have three luxury cars. “We also run a separate clinic and focus on health research and teaching, all because of the love marriage,” he says.
He feels that love marriage is better than arranged marriage for the couple get to know each other before they commit themselves.