HYDERABAD: Classical dancer and drag artiste from the city, Patruni Chidananda Sastry, recently put up a post with his wife Raja Rajeswari Devi. It read: “Side By Side! A relationship is all about two things: First, find out the similarities. Second, Respect and accept the differences..(sic).”
It wasn’t until then that many sat down to think how finding a like-minded partner, when you’re a minority, can be a real task. But, Patruni seems to have found both love and also the warmth of acceptance in Rajeswari.
The drag artiste shares how it’s important for a couple, especially a queer one, to embrace and celebrate each other for a strong, healthy and loving relationship. “I identify myself as pansexual (anybody who has sexual, romantic or emotional attraction towards people regardless of their sex or gender identity).
When I was looking to get married, there were so many people who said that I’d have to put aside my sexual identity. Others said it would mean I was cheating on my partner and many such ignorant things. Some even thought marriage would mean the end of my drag career. But, I’m grateful to have a wife like Rajeswari. She never questions anything I do. She gives me the warmth and love which I never got for ages,” they say.
Patruni goes on to add, “It’s important for people to understand that even if one is pansexual or non-binary (gender identities that are neither male nor female), and committed to one partner, it doesn’t define or limit their sexuality.”
The singer-dancer says that many people have it tough while looking for a partner: “I do know a lot of bisexual and pansexual friends, but most of them are polyamorous (the practice of engaging in multiple romantic relationships, with the consent of all the people involved). So, while their definition of seeking partnership is quite different from mine, I know that it’s not easy. It was only when I saw and read about some celebrities, who were queer and able to marry, I realised that it’s possible and was inspired to go ahead with finding my life partner.”
Sharing what a queer person would look for in a partner, they share, “Simple: validation and acceptance for who they are. That’s the beauty of giving each other that space to do what they love and be who they are. My wife and I have different interests — she loves plants! We’re both passionate about various things and learn something new about each other every day.”