The least I could do was stop using my phone while riding my two-wheeler. At this point, even my screen time can also be measured in kilometres. It was seven kms. Two weeks ago, I was waiting at a signal for 120 seconds and got lost in a 180 second reel. Three cars honked at me with the kind of confused urgency usually reserved for buffaloes blocking traffic. That was my cue. I forgave myself instantly and made a rule: no phone on the road for one week.
Honestly, roads are less boring than most 2BHKs. You do not need doomscrolling because the road has an infinite scroll feature of its own. So I decided to watch that instead. And here is what I discovered: every single person is on their phone.
We are not allowed to drink and drive. Technically we are not supposed to use phones while driving either, but only if we are actually holding the phone. This rule was written back when Bluetooth sounded like something that happened after chewing a fountain pen for lunch. Today we have evolved. We can handle our phones and drive with surprising confidence. I am not endorsing it, but nobody needs my endorsement. Hyderabad has already mastered the skill.
Take autos, for example. I sat in one where, moments after taking my OTP, the driver opened Instagram reels. Reels do not auto-scroll. You have to swipe. This man did not let a single reel repeat. Not once. I watched his algorithm for a while. He was still on carrom board reels, a trend that expired sometime in Modi’s second term. If we followed each other, I would have sent him the latest cricket reels with dramatic background music. Meanwhile he jumped a signal, shifted gears using all available limbs, shouted at another driver for unsafe driving, overtook a bus and still swiped reels with the precision of a surgeon. He had integrated scrolling into driving so naturally that it felt like it was part of the syllabus at auto driving school. As a passenger I saw danger. As a content creator I saw potential and reach.
The Hyderabad Metro has its own habits. People here are not scrolling. They are typing. This is where DMs are answered, strangers are argued with and Gautam Gambhir’s decisions are analysed with passion. It explains why our comment sections read like battlegrounds. Nobody is typing all the best, you go girl or fire emojis while going from Begumpet to Nagole.
But the true masters of multitasking are Rapido riders. These men follow Google Maps, check Ola and Uber at the same time to see which one pays three rupees more, talk to their friends, talk to the customer, switch calls with better timing than Rishabh Pant, balance their helmet on the fuel tank and still weave through peak hour traffic as if auditioning for an episode of Ripley’s Believe It or Not. Even Hawkeye from the Avengers would bow down to that level of timing.
Yes, road accidents have increased. But not at a level that makes anyone stop, which only means we are weirdly good at this questionable multitasking. This is not a problem or a complaint. This is just a sign of evolution. Maybe our brain loves the dopamine so much that it has figured out a way to scroll while you roll.
Sandesh
@msgfromsandesh
(This comedian is here to tell funny stories about Hyderabad)
(The writer’s views are his own)