Tomorrow is Women’s Day. Which means men across the country will suddenly remember the women in their contact list.
Last year I wished someone ‘Happy Women’s Day’. She replied with a message so long I had to scroll twice to reach the end. It explained how women are ignored the entire year and suddenly on this one day everyone becomes extra respectful.
I had no counter-argument. When it comes to women, I follow Osho’s philosophy: women are not meant to be understood, they are meant to be loved.
So I double-tapped the message and sent a heart.
I also never know where explaining ends and mansplaining begins, so this year I am sticking to observations.
The first time I learned Women’s Day existed was at my first job at Amazon. HR sent a cheerful email with balloons, flowers and inspirational quotes. Then they organised a rangoli competition.
Classic HR logic.
Women employees who usually work in finance, operations and engineering were suddenly making rangoli designs. Which is interesting, because if they didn’t have the job they might actually be doing rangoli at home anyway.
After the event they had to clean the colours themselves, in exchange for Amazon coupons. Redeemable only on Amazon.
Some workplaces are more progressive. They take women out for lunch and hire a comedian.
Sometimes that comedian is me.
I love these shows because they involve two things I strongly support: gender equality and money.
The best part is the audience. Imagine a room of 100 women and not a single man. No one staring. No one judging. No one pretending to understand cricket analogies.
The laughter is louder than usual.
Generally at these shows, it is the male comedian who gets roasted. True story — I checked with others.
At this year’s show, I wished ‘Happy Women’s Day’, and nearly a hundred women roasted me by saying, ‘Same to you’. You can guess how the rest of the show went.
And when women roast you, it is very different from men roasting you. Men usually stick to the basics: body, colour, money. Women roast your taste, your decisions and your entire life philosophy.
It feels like an annual sensitivity test.
Also, in ten years of comedy, I have never once performed at a Men’s Day event. Which is fine. A Men’s Day celebration would probably involve 100 men quietly enduring a comedian until the bar opens.
The other interesting thing about Women’s Day is how brands celebrate it.
Companies that usually sell shampoo suddenly start selling ideas. They launch campaigns with hashtags like #NotAHappyWomensDay, #MyChoice, and #CelebrateWomen.
One ad offends someone, it becomes a television debate, and by evening the internet is fighting in the comment section. A day meant to celebrate women becomes a troll festival.
Personally, I think the best Women’s Day celebration is still the simplest one: discounts.
Because hashtags lead to arguments, panel discussions lead to mansplaining, and inspirational speeches lead to more speeches.
But money saved?
That empowers everyone.
Sandesh
@msgfromsandesh
(This comedian is here to tell funny stories about Hyderabad)
(The writer’s views are his own)