Hard Rock Cafe was started by two Americans in 1971 who just wanted a place that serves good burgers and plays rock music. Simple. And then one day Eric Clapton left his guitar on the wall. Soon this became a trend and Hard Rock Cafe had 83,000 pieces of music memorabilia. When they realised some of these pieces were disintegrating and people were getting bored, they sent a few to India and started new branches. Mumbai in 2006 and Hyderabad in 2009.
Hard Rock came to India in an era when rock was dead. But like all good things, we received it 30 years late. Perfect timing though. Rock was still alive in India thanks to MP3 players, songs.pk downloads, and a few rock bands who tried to match the music with goatees, tattoos and long hair.
Initially it was good. Rock music, American burgers, memorabilia you could see up close. All hunky dory, just like the West enjoyed 30 years ago.
I was a rock purist. I would only listen to originals. But I would go there for the burgers. Now we already had American burgers. McDonald’s. But McDonald’s adapted to Indian taste in just two weeks of entering the market. Chicken Maharaja Mac, spicy paneer burger, rice bowl. Hard Rock Cafe on the other hand stuck to its American sanskar. They would ask you whether the meat should be medium, rare or well done. FYI all three types of patty are bland. So I would always say done well please.
This is when the frustration started. The waiter one day was asking me sir, well done or medium and the song playing on stage was Dil Ka Dariya Beh Hi Gaya. If you are going to play Bollywood music in a rock temple, might as well sin all the way and serve me a fried cutlet. I don’t even know the difference. Nobody does in India.
To be fair, it was 2025 and rock music had totally died. Cafes in Hyderabad played only Bollywood and Tollywood, which honestly was nice because rock cover bands don’t really do justice either. They sound like how Maharaja Mac tastes. Structure is Western, taste is Indian.
I really enjoyed the memorabilia though. Ozzy Osbourne’s jacket, Slash’s belt. It was like Salar Jung Museum for rock music fans.
But I started worrying about them in 2019 when they started comedy shows. It killed the vibe. One day I noticed Slash’s belt tightening and Ozzy’s jacket around the neck while a comedian was making fun of cab drivers.
Hard Rock tried too hard. They realised rock fans had cut their hair, gone to work in the day and were taking care of kids at night. So they tried to cater to everyone. They brought in Messi as brand ambassador because they thought rock fans and football fans exist in the same Venn diagram. Turns out nobody likes watching football on mute while music plays in the background.
They even tried to sell biryani. Which is why I think Hard Rock International blamed JSM for repeated failures to meet brand standards.
Also nobody bought the t-shirts. In every American show we watched, the Hard Rock t-shirt was a cool thing. In India the only people wearing them were the waiters. Once I saw a construction worker wearing one and I thought maybe he was a fan. I went close to check.
He was listening to Spider-Man Spider-Man tune Churaya Mera Dil Ka Chain.
Once in a while when any American client would visit India he would be surprised to see a Hard Rock here and would count that as development. There is still debate about Hard Rock totally shutting or not but it is a goodbye from me. Thanks for the memorabilia. It was a good memory.
Sandesh
@msgfromsandesh
(This comedian is here to tell funny stories about Hyderabad)
(The writer’s views are his own)