A shwin was in his first year of Engineering, the transition from school to college was a little uncomfortable, he felt awkward and self-conscious and decided that the only way he could stand out in a crowd and command respect was by building up his physique. He wanted the lean muscular look that heroes sported in movies.
The minute he walked in and laid eyes on all the fancy equipment, in a popular gym that he had enrolled in, he went berserk. In spite of repeated warnings, he started working out furiously; the posters of bodybuilders with enormous biceps and tree trunk legs on the walls didn’t help much in containing him either.
The next day he was very sore, but decided to drag himself to the gym once again to repeat the process. He wanted it all, in the shortest possible time.
The fourth day he woke up with such a severe back ache that he just couldn’t get out of bed to go to college.
He was diagnosed with intervertebral disc prolapse and forced to take bed rest for three weeks, and thus saw his dreams of rippling biceps and six packs come crashing down.
This situation is very common among most people; however, the scenarios may change.
A crucially important factor of emotionally intelligent people is the ability to defer gratification.
The importance of this quality was seen at a study conducted at the Bing Nursery School located in Stanford University sometime in the seventies.
Walter Mischel and Ebbe Ebbesen conducted this experiment which came to be called the famous “Marshmallow Test”, with the sole purpose of understanding the concept of self-control, deferred gratification, or impulse control amongst children. Children in the age group of four to six were put in a room, where a marshmallow was placed in front of them. As per the instructions, the children could eat the marshmallow, but if they waited for twenty minutes without eating it, they would be rewarded with a second marshmallow.
Over 600 children took part in the experiment. A small percentage ate the marshmallow immediately. One third deferred gratification long enough to get the second marshmallow.
How this simple test played out in the later years was fascinating. When Mischel revisited these children, now in their teens, he found that children who had waited longer for the marshmallows had scored 200 per cent higher on the SAT, and were more likely to be rated as having a greater ability to plan, handle stress, respond to reason, exhibit self-control in frustrating situations and concentrate without becoming distracted. They were also able to secure better colleges, better jobs and subsequently had better relationships.
In general, children who were less successful at resisting the marshmallow all those years ago performed poorly as adults, and were more likely to be derailed. Students with a robust impulse control can pro-actively create a vision for the future and diligently work towards achieving it, forfeiting immediate pleasures for something greater.
R A Nadesan
is an executive coach, behavioural and soft skills trainer with a pan India presence. He can be reached at ranadesan@yahoo.co.uk